EVICTED! Big Brother has spoken ...

[ATLANTA - Friday, 14 October 2005]

Here's a newsflash for you:

David wants me out of the garage by the 20th (though he originally said he was thinking the 15th!).

Mind you, I was only told this news myself on late Wednesday evening (the 11th).

October 20th is now only six days away !!!

To be honest, it's well past time for me to go from here. I have been living in a garage for about 90 days and I truly do not want to be here any longer ... but I've not found a better solution or earned enough money to get a place on my own yet.

I have nothing else to add ... not sure what I'll do. There is certainly no obvious solution. No cards in my back pocket to play.

Financially, my ends are not at all meeting yet ... I am behind on my British credit card payment and barely up on the US one. And I certainly have nothing saved up (for a rainy day or a move back to London).

I've continued looking for a proper full-time job (including live-in positions) but nothing has come of it.

Work at The Fox has been going well. I don't mind it but the end-of-the-shift prep & clean-up work certainly leaves me knackered. Tonight and Saturday are concerts ... so the bars don't close at all ... which should mean massive tips for me & my co-workers (tips are split equally amongst the bartenders).

No work until NEXT Friday & Saturday after that ... but at least those are concerts with open bars, too. Gives me time to move, eh? But to where ?!?

[*grin/grimace*]

The only bright spot in my life is Jim. I am so grateful that he's around. I am not sure what state I'd be in without him and that glimmer of hope & happiness that he's brought to my otherwise miserable life.

Richard

SIX FLAGS WITH MY PUDDIN' !!!

[Atlanta - Saturday - Midnight]

Jim took me to Six Flags today. He always has season passes ...

The last time I was there was literally half a lifetime ago -- age 16!

We had a wicked time!

As a leisurely day out, we did not try to 'do it all' but rather enjoy the day and take it as it comes.

Our first stop could have been our last. I did NOT care for this ACROPHOBIA thing at all. It's not the height or the sudden drop, it's the tilted-forward seat that than tilts even MORE forward once it is up 161 feet in the air. I found it uncomfortable and worrying more than 'thrilling'. Jim says I cried like a girl (which I did not, thank you).

Melting in the sun while recovering:



Continuing on that theme, I also worried (and whinged!) a bit (a lot!) about the SUPERMAN ULTIMATE FLIGHT while we queued up for it. This ride also positions its passengers downwards, hanging forward out of the seats, 'flying' like Superman. As it turned out, I *really* liked it and thought that it ended far too soon!

Having survived that, we posed for what has become my favourite photo of us:



Notice my weight-loss and the glow of love & happiness in my face ...

:-)

I found myself entertained by some of the locals, too:



Jim was amused by this woman's questionable positioning of her ample equine winning. Practical if, perhaps, a bit unsettling ...

One of the biggest surprises of the day was at the FRIGHT FEST musical show. Jim dragged me in for a rest and a cool-down and I was SHOCKED (indeed!) when the third song & dance number was my dear Army of Lovers' WALKING WITH A ZOMBIE !!!



This was then mixed directly into PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (a techno remix) ...



Camp as tits but kept me smiling for an hour afterwards ... I'll just ignore how it all went a bit 'MEATLOAF: THE MUSICAL' towards the end.

At least all of the performers could sing well ...

Here's a list of the rides at Six Flags Over Georgia. According to Jim, we rode Acrophobia, the Dahlonega Mine Train, Ninja, Scream Machine, Superman, Batman and the Mind Bender.

The SCREAM MACHINE is still a thrilling classic. It doesn't even go upside down but something is very exciting about it. Perhaps it's because of the length of the ride and the well-arranged peaks & valleys. Or perhaps it is that this huge structure is all wood and could snap at any moment and kill us all!

[*fit of naughty bunny giggles*]

On our way out, I saw this:



I am not really sure what that's about!

[*larf*]

But it was a grand day out ... I had a blast.

An entire day of thrills & spills with my Puddin' !!!

Look at him:



Handsome bugger. Words fail me. Jim is certainly the epitome of my type.

He's darn sweet, too ... and clever ... and talented ... just a great big ball of love & laughs.

I do love him so very much.

Richard the Big Bunny

I HAVE A JOB !!!

[ATLANTA]

I am now employed by The Fox Theatre.

HURRAH!



More details soon.

Richard

MY JIM WOT LOVES ME ...

So very kind, handsome, clever & sweet ... dare I question if I deserve him?

Love like this comes along but once in a lifetime.

Richard



[Both photos from yesterday, 17 September 2005.]

I'm old. YAAAY ME !!!

[Atlanta - Tuesday night around midnight]

Tuesday was my 32nd birthday.

I managed to pull together a few friends for a meal at PIE BAR.

Pie Bar is a new hot-spot eatery in Atlanta that has taken up residence in a rather odd-looking Henri Jova building (formerly a Trust Company Bank) and transformed it into something a bit fabulous.

Very swish. Very now. Very gay. Very me!



[Clockwise above: Kathie, Natalie, Rodney, DJ Bryan, me, my Jim, Gerry and Stephen.]

A brief introduction to this motley crew of friends: Kathie is my former boss from the Mart; Natalie is a former co-worker from the Mart; Rodney is my former housemate; Bryan is a client of Hasi Music; Jim is the guy I'm dating; Gerry is a friend from the old Wednesday Dinner Group; and Stephen & I used to 'do brunch & gossip'!

For the record, I had an excellent time and the food was fantastic. I even got a free birthday dessert!

A big thank you to my Atlanta friends who made it to dinner and to Jim for brightening up my miserable life immeasurably in a very short time.

My life is not fun right now but I do relish & appreciate these bursts of sunshine.

When I got home there was a gift and a card from my landlord David waiting for me on my bed, which left me additionally chuffed.

:-)

Richard the Big Bunny

==

PS - My birthday is shared with the late, great Nell Carter. Nell was not only a great singer & comedic actress but also a bit of a surrogate TV mum to me during many of my years as a latch key kid. I cried like a baby when she died in early 2003. She is sorely missed.

==

BADLY SHORN RABBIT NAMES NAMES !!!

[ATLANTA - 1700]

How feckin' difficult can it be to cut a crew cut?

Some of the worst haircuts I've ever had have been crew cuts!

Today was no exception.



I went to Beau Seckinger, owner and apparent weed-wacker at APPEARANCES SALON (beside Agnes & Muriel's ... I should have seen that as an omen!) ... and yes, I'm naming names because I'm pissed off that I paid $23 for *this* ...

What's wrong with it? Well ...

The edging & trimming around my ears was NON-EXISTENT. It just wasn't done. I had to trim off all the long hair around & behind my ears myself with the trimmer bit on my electric razor.

My neck was not really trimmed at all. I can't do that myself ...

There are/were long hairs throughout the top & sides. I've cut out as many as I can see by myself.

No identifiable blending of the shorter sides into the top at all.

Never mind that I said this EXPLICITLY ... twice:

''I'd like it very short, no guard on the sides or back, short on top but a bit more towards the front.''

What did he do?

Cut it all off. No fringe or fade towards the front. I said it twice. I told him again as he was about to do it ...

Never mind that it's just not even ... it's wonky ... lumpy ... just crap!

I could have done this better at home myself.

I look as if I've been to the Helen Keller Hedge Trimmer School of Beauty !!!

It looks okay ... FROM A DISTANCE ... just don't get too close.

[*sigh*]

He said he'd been in France for the last 24 years ... my guess is he was not cutting hair! Shearing sheep perhaps ... something that requires less attention to detail.

So much for reducing my stress by cutting all my hair off and letting go of the past (a Rastafarian belief I picked up years ago in Jamaica).

[*sucks his teeth & throws shade*]

I assure you that I am NOT feelin' irie ...

Richard the Shorn Bunny

No happy. No joy. No good.

[ATLANTA - Friday - 13:30]

I've had a really bad week ...

My mood & state of being have been plummeting since last Saturday.

Saturday was brilliant: I quit my job & felt very invigorated/liberated then went out & shagged a Marine ... for hours ... I needed that!

On Sunday, I forced myself to finish cleaning David's house (which I'd started on the previous Wednesday but he was out of town so no rush).

This week ... Monday through Friday ... I've nothing to tell.

I've been looking for a job but mostly online.

I have felt rather shite all week and have been missing my life back in London more so than usual. No, it wasn't perfect and there are no rose-coloured glasses here but even my bad days there were more tolerable. Why? Because I was in London ... on the edge of making my dreams come true and keeping hope alive came very easy for me there.



And now I'm back in Atlanta ... poor ... miserable ... hating the weather, the bugs, the lack of public transportation ... living in someone's garage (which I'm increasingly feeling guilty about) ... unemployed again ... unmotivated ... feeling overwhelmingly lonely and unhappy.

Who wouldn't be depressed !?!

It's as if I've been plucked out of my life and drop-kicked into the past ... though everyone has already left this party. There's nothing here for me and the friends of yore have disappeared. My 'old friends' are either gone, too busy to see me or just don't care and I've been disappointed in them in a myriad of ways that I shan't put into print in this blog. New friends are hard to come by, too, because they know as well as I do that I'll be 'rolling up out of here' (bless those colourful Atlanta expressions!) as soon as I possibly can! So who can blame them?

Last night, I was so overwhelmed ... CONSUMED by worries about money and debts (in the UK and the USA!), that I was unable to sleep. I have no idea when I actually drifted off but I didn't wake up until noon! David (upstairs) must think the worst of me by now.

I try to wake up each day and give myself a little pep talk to 'get through it all' but it's not working. I know I have to be here for a few months. I know that I need to work to pay bills and save money. Hell, I *want* to work! I'm rather bored, truth be told. But ...

What I really want is to return to the UK and get on with my life. No, I think it would be appropriate to use the word 'need' there. Returning to the UK is what I *need*.

If it wasn't for the internet (thank you, David) and my fabulous Titanium PowerBook G4 (thank you, Stephen & UCL), I probably would have just lost it by now and have been put away! At least I have frequent contact with my mates through emails, chat & even voice now (thank you, Skype!) and can listen to UK radio ... which seems to calm my nerves a bit by helping feel a bit less 'disconnected'.

I am ever so grateful to Androo in London, too, for helping me manage things back home while I'm away. Our friendship is strong, genuine and heartfelt ... but also practical! [*giggles*] He & I have developed quite a circle of international favours & exchanges! The little things mean so much because ...

Nothing here in Atlanta is making me happy or helping to make my life fulfilling. At all. I am not sure how to put it into words but it's starting to border on misery. I know I have food & shelter and I'm grateful for that but I'm not going to pretend I'm happy or fulfilled either. I'm not.

Everything about my current 'life' is wrong. It's just wrong. Perhaps it's not eloquent but I can't really think of a better word.

My birthday is just a fortnight away. 32 years old ... and ageing doesn't bother me in the least but I am dreading it somehow ... because I'll be alone and, well, I think I'll be a bit overwhelmed by the sadness & isolation.

Oh, that sounds very unlike me indeed!

Richard

I CAN DO BETTER ...

[Atlanta - 12 noon]

I quit.

Too much skulduggery ... too much stress ... too much labour ... too little money ... by a long-shot!

There was no balance to be found there for me.

I can do better ... and quickly ... so don't worry. I'll have a new job within a few days.

The restaurant industry is a dirty business (in so many respects) and it's just not for me. As a place to work, I don't think Agnes & Muriel's is any worse than any other restaurant. I do, however, think that A&M's gay-drama-bitch-factor is a bit above average.

Oddly enough, I didn't mind waiting tables or dealing with the public ... it was everything else about that job that I hated. I rather liked working the dessert & drink counter. Even running food (by far the most laborious option) wasn't awful.

My leaving really is about the lack of money, the stress and my not 'fitting in' with the staff ...

How politely phrased!

I'm going back to the Music Industry ... at least that's a dog-eat-dog stress bubble I can handle!



We all have our strengths & weaknesses.

Richard the Big Bunny

REFUGE OF THE ROADS.

I am on a lonely road and I am travelling ...



Looking for something ... what can it be?

Would you like MAC-&-CHEESE FRITTERS with that !?!

[1830-ish, Atlanta Time]

Today was my first day of work at my new job.

You will never guess WHAT my new job is ... as it's something I swore I'd never do ...

My new employer is !!!

SHOCK-HORROR!

Yes, I'm a server ... well, among other things. One plays a role each shift and 'server' is only one of the options. I will also sometimes be manning the drink/dessert bar and on some days will be a 'runner' (run up & down the stairs delivering food to tables). The latter is what I did today.

'Twas fun but left me quite KNACKERED!



Ooo, just look at the state of me. Tired and grumpy ... and, yes, I am losing weight ... not that eating at Agnes & Muriel's will help that cause any!

Still, it's a great place to work and is one of the gayest, most camp places in Atlanta ...

HURRAH!

Yes, I *do* wear a big pink t-shirt (or a powder blue one) with the Agnes & Muriel's name on the front and their huge '2-mums' logo on the back. I can wear shorts, jeans, trousers, whatever I like really ... very comfy casual. Better photos of the 'uniform' soon.

Read all about the overt poofiness and home-cookin' on the Agnes & Muriel's website.

It's retro-kitsch-camp fabulousness beyond words but the photography on the website doesn't capture it to its full effect at all.

I'll do my own photoshoot there soon!

Richard the Big Bunny