30 June 2005

New York State of Mind? Philadelphia Freedom?


[1 PM - Philadelphia Time]


No time to say much but here goes ...

I flew to New York City on AIR INDIA, which was quite nice really. No complaints.

Took the A-train from JFK to the other end of the city ... 42nd Street in Manhattan!

From there I got a bus to Philadelphia. I am staying with my friend Moira and her family for a few days.

Then I'll either fly, train or bus to Atlanta.

I have no mobile and no internet access ... PAINFUL !!!

Nothing much else to tell. Americans scare me. This just ain't my kind of place, Love! I miss London.

More soon!

I'll be online whenever I can. America doesn't seem to have many internet cafes.

Did I mention I miss London?

Bunny loves!

Richard of London

19 June 2005

Boys, boys, boys ... & Boy George.


[Late Saturday Night]


Right ... what a day!

In brief:

Managed to NOT die of a heat stroke.

Rendezvoused with Johnathon & 'Andrew64' for a drink at THE YARD. Andrew did not fancy me in person (as he did online) but I met a lovely 22-year-old Italian lad named Albert after they left who did!

Dashed off to dance to the tunes spun by Boy George.


BG_Spin

Managed to find Kristine from NY & her mates and we danced the night away.

BG_Chatting

Met Boy George upstairs afterwards, shook his hand and then looked to his right and said "Oi ... you were in Taboo!" Luke Evans was sat right beside him. Both were friendly & sociable. Luke -- very sociable.

BG_Ciggie

Ran into an 'old flame' (using the term very loosely) David Mungall at King's Cross. We chatted for 20 minutes before he walked me to my bus stop and smooched & hugged me for a bit. I feel a fool for admitting it but it made my night! He still does it for me, the sexy Scottish bastard! I'll probably never see him again.

And that's the news ...

The sun's coming up and I gotta go to bed!

Richard the Big Bunny

BG_Beduin

17 June 2005

SAINT ETIENNE: Live at Koko (my review)


Last night's Saint Etienne show at Koko was smashing ... but I didn't take any photos!


Well, just this one of Johnathon & Paul being silly after the show ...

kokopoofs

[NOTE: No one in Saint Etienne is actually gay (to my knowledge), nor is Koko a gay venue. However ... given the power of poofetry ... Johnathon & Paul can make any locale decadently woofterish! - Accuracy Ed.]

Annie, electro Norwegian pop saviour, opened the show. Annie's voice sounded great & the music even better ... but she's not really a dynamic performer (not that I'm demanding she wear a thong & thigh-high boots whilst bouncing around!). I'm just not all that interested in her. If you believe the critics, I must be missing something.

Saint Etienne were fab. Deeply fab!

They are touring to promote the release of their latest album, TALES FROM TURNPIKE HOUSE (which includes a bonus 6-track EP entitled UP THE WOODEN HILLS aimed at the children of their fans).

Sarah's voice sounded better than ever and she looked bright & sparkly and was triumphantly thin for a mother of two.

Debsey, backing vocalist extraordinaire, was in fine form as well. Very strong, very loud and gloriously in tune ...

There were some odd choices of songs that I don't think worked very well live. Everyone seemed to be talking & going for drinks during TEENAGE WINTER & GARY STEAD. There were a couple of songs I didn't even recognise ... SPLIT SCREEN (I remember the title from GOOD HUMOR) and DON'T BACK DOWN (from SOUND OF WATER but I have no recollection of it whatsoever). And HEART FAILED is still a stinker of a tune in my opinion ...

St. Et. also did not perform their biggest hit HE'S ON THE PHONE ... and that did not sit well with anyone in my general vacinity. It was the criticism I heard over & over again while working my way out of the venue.

KOKO is a strikingly lovely venue but the sound was a bit muffled. I thought LIKE A MOTORWAY in particular sounded completely foggy.

And regarding songs off the children's music bonus disc, I still think they should be doing LET'S BUILD A ZOO instead of YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!

:-)

The high points of the night for me were SHOWER SCENE and a slightly raucous version of SYLVIE. But new songs like STARS ABOVE US and A GOOD THING were smashing live!

I thought the show was better than the New Year's Eve 2004/05 gig but not a speck on the Xmas 2003 show!

Well worth the £18.00 though ...

KOKO SETLIST:

Heart Failed
Shower Scene
A Good Thing
Lightning Strikes Twice
Split Screen
Sun In My Morning
Who Do You Think You Are?
Stars Above Us
Don't Back Down
Side Streets
Last Orders For Gary Stead
Action
Teenage Winter
You Can Count On Me
-----------------
Like A Motorway
Sylvie
-----------------
Nothing Can Stop Us

Special 'ello to Sarah from Boston ... the only fan who noticed my AVENUE Mailing List t-shirt & spoke to me!

However, I did bump into quite a few of my mates there.

And I had FAR too much Scrumpy ...

Richard

==

Click here for more on Saint Etienne.

Click here for more on Annie.

Click here for more on the venue Koko.

==

15 June 2005

UPDATE: Knowns & Unknowns (!)


[A chest cold has kept me in bed & housebound since last Friday. I have not left my bedroom much. Yes, really. Timing, eh?
Thank goodness for broadband internet to keep me entertained & productive and for the bunnies outside my window, who continue to make me smile whenever I look out.]

SWEET_BUNNY


WHAT I HAVE SORTED OUT:


(1) I am moving out of Giles' N22 flat on Saturday, 25 June 2005. Hopefully I will be able to rally the troops and find two friends/acquaintances with cars. Big John in Leamington is coming down to help & perhaps I can beg/persuade/barter with Tony to help again! I can't express enough my gratitude in advance to anyone who helps ...

(2) My belongings will be stored at Walthamstow in Johnathon's loft. He is only a recent acquaintance but I am listening to my inner voice on this one. Johnathon is lovely & seems trustworthy and has a HUGE empty loft above his new flat. I will leave explicit instructions & backup plans with him on what to do if my stuff needs to be moved while I'm not here in England (supervised by Androo, I hope, as I trust him completely). I may store one small box of music memorabilia at Androo's in Mill Hill, as the contents are worth several thousand pounds (and that's just the cream of the crop!).

WHAT I HAVE NOT SORTED OUT:

(1) Although I must be out of the UK by Thursday, 30 June 2005, I still have NO idea where I am going. USA? If so, where? I really don't care to return to the USA but I haven't really found a place to crash[land!] in Ireland or Sweden. I have about 7 days to decide where to go & purchase a ticket. Crikey. Creative ideas & job/lodging offers are certainly welcome !!!

(2) I have no idea how I will pay for an airline ticket, especially if it's all the way across the ocean to the States! The mind boggles ...

(3) My last few days of lodging here in the UK will be spent with a friend, I hope. I haven't asked anyone yet (Androo will be away in Greece). I have two friends who have spare rooms who might be able to put me up for those last two or three days. Hopefully that is not much of a bother or burden.

(4) I am not sure what to do about my post. I must keep some sort of UK address. I am sort of at a loss there. Any offers?

(5) I have no idea what I will do for work or lodging whenever I get to wherever it is I'm going! Did that make any sense? Wherever I land, I'll be penniless & homeless but will need to start work and start saving immediately (!) to come back to the UK. Ain't that a bitch?

change_02

My sense of humour is in tact even if my body is falling apart from stress!

A big thanks to all of you out there (in the UK & across the world) for your words of support & encouragement and for helping me think things through & find creative solutions.

Richard

PS - Friday's blog post should be more festive & light. I will see one of my favourite bands, SAINT ETIENNE, at Koko on Thursday night. This is my third time seeing them, which actually puts them even with Boy George. Shocking!

12 June 2005

The more I think, the more upset I get ...

[IMPENDING DOOM COUNTDOWN: 18 Days]

I have been thinking about storing my things and getting out of the UK ... AND I'M SO PANICKED & UPSET.


I really don't want to leave the UK!

I know that's not news but my thinking is this:

If I leave, I can only get my visa renewed in person via an embassy or consulate IN THE USA (after a long postal application process with the college & the Home Office).

Even worse, leaving the UK now will break up my accumulated time here (ie, puts me back at zero in terms of accumulating 5 years for residency).

Leaving now really will change everything ...

Sure, I could marry a boyfriend after 21 December 2005 ... but I don't have one! And even *that* comes with an 'application fee' and a delay for me (as a foreign national) ...

I need to go back to college to stay here! I need £1500 for my tuition & visa application fee and I need it immediately.

Brilliant. I've burst into tears now ...

I'll regret posting this later, I'm sure.

Richard

PS - Never mind that I cannot afford to fly to America ... where am I going to get £600 in a week !?!

And all I had left was my health ...


My weekend has been spent in bed.


I have a terrible chest cold. It's one of those awful kind that is unbelievable in the AM. Morning details you do NOT want to hear !!!

[*hack*]

I'm coughing up Gremlins.

TWO WEEKS LEFT!

I must begin shifting my things to storage (still undecided) and buy a ticket to *somewhere* ...

Skidding along the razor's edge,
Richard

08 June 2005

Thanks but I do not want your money ...


Perhaps my message from last week was a bit unclear, as I was more or less 'thinking out loud'.


PAY ATTENTION: I was not soliciting everyone for cash and I am certainly not overwhelmed with debt. Many of you seem to have misunderstood.

At the end of the day, there are essentially two problems:

[1] I must leave the UK before the end of the month (for which I might need more money).

[2] My possessions must be safely stored somewhere in or around London before I leave.


Both of these issues are well on their way to being sorted out. Hooray & hurrah ...

My credit cards might be nearly maxed out but that is only about £2500. I only have one UK credit card and one US credit card. My payments are never late or missed and I do not need debt counselling! Crikey ...


I will be more careful with my words next time.

Thank you all for your concern.

And, please, watch the criticism ...

It's not that I can't take it but rather that we all lead very different lives. I don't judge you on your choices and the risks you take living your life. I expect the same. We are each on our own paths.

I assure you, *I* chose this path and it's the right one for me, difficult though it might be.


I might have hit a bump in the road but, believe it or not, I do have some idea what the fuck I am doing ...

It pleases me that at least a few of you 'get it' and understand me. I thank you for your continued support.

Richard
biz_01

06 June 2005

BBQ BUNNY: Poofs, Quorn & Swedish Vodka!

My good friend Tony (below, right) took me to a BBQ on Saturday. It was a birthday party for his ex-boyfriend Gary (left).

BBQ_e06

Everyone sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY ...

BBQ_e25

Unfortunately, I was in the toilet at the time!

I had overindulged on the Swedish vodka ...


BBQ_e30

Oh dear ... it's not pretty ...

But the chef was!

BBQ_e17

And he wasn't the only handsome man around ...

BBQ_e07

The shot below is nice ... but how did I get everyone to look natural but at the camera?

BBQ_e05

Photographer's secret: I sprang forth from the kitchen & let out a female horror film scream.

As you do ...


[*giggles**]

Well, it worked.

And a good time was had by all ...


BBQ_e23

And I needed a good time ... thanks for a fab weekend, Tony!

RICHARD
BBQ_e15

03 June 2005

Please ... everyone ... calm down!

Thank you all so much for all the love & support you've shown me since yesterday's post.

My life is still in a pickle but it seems I am more calm than many of you. Please don't stress yourself into a knot (especially you, mum!).

I have had many viable offers for storing my things. Thank you all so much. My only concern there is that the people I know & trust the most have the least space ... and the people who have the most space I don't know all that well. However, at least I can see a light at the end of that tunnel. I can store my things here in London. Tick that box & move on.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers ... thank you all so much!

The next month will be tough no matter what happens. No work this week means no payday next week.

[*gulp*]

A week with no money in London is a bit like ... well, it doesn't get much worse really (financially) ...

Luckily, I am classically trained at being poor!

Let me remind everyone that even if I leave, I am definitely returning to the UK within 6 months and I am NOT shipping all my things back to the States (I might insure them but they are staying here in England).

So, please ... calm down ... you all are stressing out the Big Buddha Bunny!

[*larf*]

My situation is still dire ... maybe I'm just calm at the moment ... but at least I have my moments!

Richard the Big Bunny

Hasi Music

02 June 2005

I admit it ... I need help!

Today has been a day of reflection & contemplation.

The end result is this: I am at the end of my rope & I do not see any solutions.

Unless £1500 ($3000) or so falls into my lap, I must leave the UK immediately.

Despite working and trying to save up money for college (ie, another visa),
I have failed.

I do not have any money. It all goes towards rent, paying off my overdraft and making payments toward my two credit cards (proof positive that I was never 'kept' by anyone).

I have just over two weeks to sort out where to store my things for free in England and how I'm going to pay for a flight out of here.

My life is boiling over with problems & pressure--and if I were suicidal, you wouldn't be reading this message because I would already be gone. Yes, it is that bad. Thankfully, I know my problems do not define who I am or my future. They are just problems.

I need help. Or, perhaps more accurately in these circumstances, I need to be rescued.

I am not very good at asking for help and, furthermore, I am not even sure who to ask! This isn't a normal, everyday problem. I don't just need money ... I also need a secure place to store ALL of my possessions (about a square metre of boxes) before I am forced to leave the country that I consider my home.

I am embarrassed. I tried. I really did. I know all of this is my responsibility but I have failed.

And to think all of this could be wiped away if I could just get a job with a work visa ...

FIVE YEARS. I've tried for five years and I've failed. I certainly gave it my all in the end. MY ALL. It's all gone. I'm afraid I don't have any fight left in me.

Richard

bad_side