GONE A BIT BEARDY

[ATLANTA - Morning. Almost no sleep. Taking a nap soon!]

UPDATED FRIDAY - 17 JUNE 2006:
NOW WITH PHOTOS!

Well, I've grown a beard ... and it's a hit!



Almost like an episode from the Twilight Zone, I seemed to have the attention of most everyone at the bar (Oscar's and later Burkhart's) last night ... but, unfortunately, most of the bar was smoking! Ick.

I got three telephone numbers, made a date to see a film, somehow wandered into karaoke at Burkhart's & sang HEY JEALOUSY without much delay. I got dollar bills tucked in various places while singing ... not to mention the four quarters I was handed (I am NOT kidding!). I was more or less a naughty bunny after that.

:-o

Weird night.

I wasn't even flirting. I was genuinely happy sitting with my martinis at the end of the bar and watching the music videos ... but the attention seemed to flow towards me somehow!

Still, it is nice to know I still have *it*.

:-)

Or maybe the stars were aligned just so ... I am well overdue some good fortune!

And to think I *almost* didn't go back out after my short coffee date ...

x/RICHARD

Coiffure.

[ATLANTA - Cut my dreads.]

Chop off the old ... release the trapped negative energy ... break with the past ...



Okay, so I just got a haircut!



It'll do.

:-)

My date cancelled ... he's ill ... but I'm going out anyway!

I don't need a date ...

[*struts*]

Movin' on,
Richard the Big Bunny

100th_POST!

[Atlanta - Today really *is* the first day of the rest of my life!]

The time has come to move on ... to catch up ... to focus on the good stuff ... to have a bit more self-respect ... to get my ducks in a row for a return to England ... and to focus on making tomorrow better ... better for *ME*.



Recently, I have been going out with friends from work and having a grand time (not a 'gay old time', Friday night aside, but a good time all the same!).

Laura, Judy, Jerry, Josh, Wes and the rest of the gang are providing me with good times and ample distraction and I'm very grateful. I feel particularly lucky to have Courtenay & Stacy in my life ... who listen to me and provide honest feedback without judgment.



Dancing out at MJQ and late-night nibbles after work ... they have even dragged me to The Clermont Lounge ('where strippers go to die'!). See all the photos by clicking here.

I am trying to reconnect with friends who have been neglected, too.



My good mate Chris ('Hedgie') & his partner Cliff picked me up for dinner. That was a nice distraction!

I have even made some new local Atlanta friends on My Space.

Last Friday night, I went out with my mate Jamie (who I've known for ages and is one of the smartest, most aware Americans I know). We went to Oscar's (video bar). The 'scene' was all very mediocre but I did enjoy our conversation. We popped over to Burkhart's for a minute and even drove to Blake's. It was dead & ugly all round!

The most peculiar thing happened ...

When we went BACK to Oscar's (where I'd been drinking all evening before we stepped out to peruse our options), the doorman was gone so we had to 'ID' at the bar directly with the bartender. He refused to accept my bloody American passport as sufficient ID.

Yes, really!

No wait, it gets better ...

After walking back over to Jamie, the bartender then bellowed out, "YOU HAVE TO LEAVE!"

[*cue me looking stunned & horrified*]

It was like being under-21 again.

Ain't that America ?!?

A bloody passport isn't good enough to get a drink here.



I mean, I am hardly 'foreign-looking' and my passport certainly looks (and is!) real. You'd think I was mistaken for a 15 year-old Mexican girl or something.

I do not have a State Driver's License (it expired just after I moved to England in 2003) so I carry my passport with me instead.

Yes, I could get one ... but, for all intents and purposes, I am 'just visiting' here ... much like you would be. I have a temporary job and a temporary place to live while I'm here. I do not have a car. All of my possessions are in London and I have a London address. It is not denial or wishful thinking for me to say, "Technically, I live in London."

If you visit America, good luck getting a drink! If I can't do it well-dressed and with Federal identification then no one else stands a chance ...

Maybe it's my peculiar 'international' accent getting me into trouble ...

Does it make me seem suspicious to Americans?

Richard the Big Bunny

Married !?!

[Sunday - Just waking up!]

On MySpace, one can subscribe to other people's blogs.

I had forgotten that I had subscribed to Jim's ...

I woke up to this ...

I have met the most wonderful guy in the world.. His name is John. We are getting married on July 29. I am so looking forward to spending ym life with him. He brings out the best in me and is everything I have been searching for. we have so much fun together, whether its going out dancing or stayiongin and watching a movie. John I love you.

This is a level of stupidity and immaturity that I cannot even comprehend.

Such naïveté will only bring heartache.

Jim was the person I loved the most in this world up until a week ago. We broke up a month a ago (and that's on *his* version of the timeline).

Keep in mind that Jim is almost *43* and has three kids to consider. He met John, who is 24, a month ago in a local shop.

I am not sure who to feel more sorry for at this point ... Jim or John.

The mind boggles ...

The title of this entry on his blog is titled "MY PARTNER".

Your what? Who?

Richard

==

ADDENDUM I - After having time (12 hours at work!) to mentally process this 'announcement', I have come to see it as a blessing and end point ... and I am moving on. Jim is NOT my problem any longer and is NOT someone who deserves my attention. I am embarrassed that I could have loved someone so clueless about genuine love & commitment ... someone who could say and do such foolish things with a new 'boyfriend'. Convenience, youth, simplicity and opportunity does not make John "the one". The most hurtful angle of all this is that his frantically rushed relationship & desperate 'engagement' to this kid makes a mockery of *our* relationship. Jim never deserved me and he still does not deserve a person of my calibre. I do sincerely hope Jim finds real love but first he must learn to recognise it, develop the patience to wait for it and find the strength of character to stay around & work at it.

ADDENDUM II - Someone who knows Jim and the details of our situation offered me some wise words. The following is a snippet of that helpful message. - As complicated as things are with Jim's life, it really is just quite this simple: You are a casualty of *his* chaos. He has pretty much lived a double life since he married the mother of his children. He has always done everything he could to hide the truth, no matter what it is, in an effort to be accepted and liked by the people around him. The truth always catches up to the masquerade and then EVERYONE gets hurt all at once. This pattern is difficult for him to break. Deep down inside you and I and everyone else know that Jim is a good person, but he's got your heart all ensnared in the tangled web he has woven. Whatever lessons he needs to learn about being honest with himself and others, he'll eventually learn. And I think the lesson you have probably learned here is to listen to you "inner voice". You know, the one that kept telling you something wasn't right and that you suspected lies and deception.