One Year Silence.

[June 2010 already ?!?]

This blog has sort of died a death -- again.

Not only do I have very little to tell right now (I'm still in patently unstimulating Midwestern America most of the time!), Facebook gets most of my post-worthy efforts.

Feel free to stalk & gawk at:

www.facebook.com/thebigbunny

The wall & photos are quite public so enjoy!

Thanks.

x/RICHARD

TAKE-CARE-O

[BIG BUNNY LOVES BOO BEAN - Love never dies]

Whilst plundering through my Gmail online at work this week, I found a message from Ray that I had never seen, never received, that had never downloaded to my Mac.

It was a photo, taken with the camera on his mobile phone, telling me he loved me in ASL ...



Ray would sometimes sign that to me after getting out of the car at work. It was one of our things.

Given the slightly 'secret' nature of our relationship (at least locally in Akron), Ray & I developed many ways of saying 'I love you' to each other. If we were not alone when ending a telephone conversation, we would say "take-care-o" (trailing off on the 'o'). This covert expression of love came from my misunderstanding him saying 'te quiero' a few times -- only to have me respond "you take care, too!"

Ray & I told each other "I love you" often and were both increasingly aware of how each time might be the last time.

If our love was ever a secret, I guess the secret is well & truly out by now.

I don't think Ray would mind me sharing this audio of his voice from October 2007 -- an example of the silly but lovely messages he would leave on my voicemail.

Words can't express how happy I am to have that recording -- or convey the contrasting joy & sadness I feel when it randomly plays on the iPod.

I cherish each little reminder I have of how much he loved me ...



In return, my love for Ray grew to be boundless. The intense amount of time we spent together in his last three months is the most cherished of my entire life. We had achieved a bit of a 'yin/yang', for lack of a better phrase -- and after his coma in December, no moment was taken for granted.

What Ray & I had together was good. It was love -- pure & simple. We chose each other and, while swimming upstream through illness & stresses external to our relationship, we held on to each other.

Life can be cruel & unkind but I have no regrets about coming to Ohio to be with Ray. I know what it means to be wanted, needed, appreciated and truly loved because of Ray Boggs.

No matter where I go in this world, Ray is with me always. Nothing or no one can ever diminish what we shared or take it away. He is a central part of my mind's landscape and I carry his love & kindness in my heart.

I miss you, Ray. I celebrate your life each & every day. And I love you ... whole bunches!

x/RICHARD

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RAY

[AKRON - Updated - See links below]

Ray Boggs, who was my reason for being in Ohio and, indeed, still in America, died Tuesday night after a long battle with a rare liver disease.



At the time of his death, Ray was surrounded by his closest friends, while dozens more waited outside. His mother held his left hand and I held his right as his heart stopped beating ― an honour I will cherish for the rest of my life. Ray was 44 years old.

Ray touched so many lives as a primary school teacher, a colour guard instructor and friend. After 20 years of leading Collage Winter Guard, as well as directing colour guard at various high schools, a virtual family of young women still call him 'daddy'.

Many called him a friend ... some considered him a brother ... his 'kids' called him Mister Boggs ... but to me he will always be my Boo Bean.



Ray will be entombed at Rose Hill Burial Park in Fairlawn, Ohio. He has a 'penthouse' in a mausoleum by the lake, as he wanted, thanks to the generosity of friends.

My heartfelt gratitude goes out to all those who have been there for me in this difficult time, as we strive to celebrate Ray's life, support each other and grieve the loss of our dear friend.

x/RICHARD

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Read his obituary here.

Read a features article about Ray's life from the Akron Beacon Journal here.

Read the WGI's tribute to Ray here.

Read MEPA's remembrance notice here.

Read the Norton High School Marching Band's memories of Ray here.

Read a transcript of my eulogy for Ray here.

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