richard@bigbunny.co.uk

MIKEY IN WAITER SHAGGING SHOCKER!

2011-08-07T21:07:00.029+01:00

AT BUNNY'S FORMER PALACE, NO LESS !!!

:: Mikey & Bunny just weeks ago at Joan Collins' 109th birthday.

SATURDAY ::: 06 August 2011

While Big Bunny was away sitting on Ken's big deck for the party of the season -- well, it'll do for Lake Erie in August -- Mikey had ventured off to the former CASTLE BUNNY, which is now in shambles at the hands of the evil Dick Tater Todd.

Around the enchanted pool, Mikey had a glass or twelve of wine and ended up molesting a server and passing out on the floor of Bunny's former boudoir -- yes, in what was once Bunny's actual bedroom!

Bunny, caught out Sunday morning at a nearby café wearing a daring combination of De La Cour sunglasses & a La Camilla dashiki, missed Mikey's drunken whoring entirely and had no comment.

==

:: Bunny-on-deck (sans Mikey) flanked by revelling admirers.

==

MUSIC:

==

One Year Silence.

2010-06-03T18:07:00.005+01:00

[June 2010 already ?!?]

This blog has sort of died a death -- again.

Not only do I have very little to tell right now (I'm still in patently unstimulating Midwestern America most of the time!), Facebook gets most of my post-worthy efforts.

Feel free to stalk & gawk at:

www.facebook.com/thebigbunny

The wall & photos are quite public so enjoy!

Thanks.

x/RICHARD

Pure Love.

2009-05-02T15:57:00.003+01:00

[Cool but sunny day here in Not-Quite-Canada]

Touching & poignant PSAs from Singapore ...

For my mum:

For my Boo Bean:

For anyone who believes in love:

My Ray.

2009-04-01T17:41:00.008+01:00

[Akron - One year on.]

Although I am perceiving that people are expecting 'something' from me today on the anniversary of Ray's death, I am quite unsure of what to say -- and am certainly unsure of what to do. I find myself reflecting quietly and cherishing every moment he & I shared. There are no pretty or poetic words that could begin to describe just how much I miss him.

As I find myself without much to say publicly, perhaps it would be okay to share the eulogy I wrote for Ray a year ago.

These words still reflect much of what I feel for Ray and paint a fairly accurate picture of him -- a truly wonderful man who had a profound & positive impact on the people around him. His death was a loss to us all. The world needs more like him!

Ray was persuasive and irresistible. He somehow convinced me, as I was gearing up to leave Atlanta and return to England, to drop everything and move to Akron, Ohio ... a place I knew nothing of .... except that Chrissie Hynde was from here ... and even she had run off to London decades before.

For me, Ray was all things orange ... random moments of love and life punctuated by the ringing of his mobile phone ... a compulsion for pickles ... and a more recent, worrying addiction to Starburst jellybeans.

Ray could fall asleep during any film but stay awake all day on a Sunday watching The Food Network.

He leaves behind dozens of mismatched flags from 20 years of Collage, a collection of shoes all over the house and the many greeting cards he’d buy for his mother and forget to mail.

In my mind, I see Ray falling asleep listening to his iPod ... in Baby Snoopy pyjamas (handmade by a loving friend), a shirt with a mustard stain (self-inflicted) and a knitted scarf (made for him by the mother of one of his students).

For a person who battled so much with his own body, Ray’s spirit was happy and free. He could be silly and make me laugh even at the worst of times. I will miss his silliness the most.

Many called him a friend ... some considered him a brother ... his students called him Mister Boggs ... to the guard girls, he was ’Daddy’... but to me he will always be my Boo Bean.

-- RICHARD IAN TRACY, 06 April 2008

Prop8.

2008-11-13T00:33:00.002Z

[For Tricia & Michelle ... Dave & Arturo ... and everyone who loves someone.]

No argument in support of the rights of same-sex couples to legally marry could be more eloquent than this.

Please watch this video:

Thank you.

x/RICHARD

Bells for my Belles.

2008-10-04T21:25:00.005+01:00

[AKRON]

My friends Tricia & Michelle are trekking out to California to get married later this month.

This is for them:

Thank you guys for everything you've done for me.

I wish you absolutely ridiculous happiness!

x/RICHARD

TAKE-CARE-O

2008-08-08T08:08:00.024+01:00

[BIG BUNNY LOVES BOO BEAN - Love never dies]

Whilst plundering through my Gmail online at work this week, I found a message from Ray that I had never seen, never received, that had never downloaded to my Mac.

It was a photo, taken with the camera on his mobile phone, telling me he loved me in ASL ...

Ray would sometimes sign that to me after getting out of the car at work. It was one of our things.

Given the slightly 'secret' nature of our relationship (at least locally in Akron), Ray & I developed many ways of saying 'I love you' to each other. If we were not alone when ending a telephone conversation, we would say "take-care-o" (trailing off on the 'o'). This covert expression of love came from my misunderstanding him saying 'te quiero' a few times -- only to have me respond "you take care, too!"

Ray & I told each other "I love you" often and were both increasingly aware of how each time might be the last time.

If our love was ever a secret, I guess the secret is well & truly out by now.

I don't think Ray would mind me sharing this audio of his voice from October 2007 -- an example of the silly but lovely messages he would leave on my voicemail.

Words can't express how happy I am to have that recording -- or convey the contrasting joy & sadness I feel when it randomly plays on the iPod.

I cherish each little reminder I have of how much he loved me ...

In return, my love for Ray grew to be boundless. The intense amount of time we spent together in his last three months is the most cherished of my entire life. We had achieved a bit of a 'yin/yang', for lack of a better phrase -- and after his coma in December, no moment was taken for granted.

What Ray & I had together was good. It was love -- pure & simple. We chose each other and, while swimming upstream through illness & stresses external to our relationship, we held on to each other.

Life can be cruel & unkind but I have no regrets about coming to Ohio to be with Ray. I know what it means to be wanted, needed, appreciated and truly loved because of Ray Boggs.

No matter where I go in this world, Ray is with me always. Nothing or no one can ever diminish what we shared or take it away. He is a central part of my mind's landscape and I carry his love & kindness in my heart.

I miss you, Ray. I celebrate your life each & every day. And I love you ... whole bunches!

x/RICHARD

==

==

RAY

2008-04-04T18:00:00.018+01:00

[AKRON - Updated - See links below]

Ray Boggs, who was my reason for being in Ohio and, indeed, still in America, died Tuesday night after a long battle with a rare liver disease.

At the time of his death, Ray was surrounded by his closest friends, while dozens more waited outside. His mother held his left hand and I held his right as his heart stopped beating ― an honour I will cherish for the rest of my life. Ray was 44 years old.

Ray touched so many lives as a primary school teacher, a colour guard instructor and friend. After 20 years of leading Collage Winter Guard, as well as directing colour guard at various high schools, a virtual family of young women still call him 'daddy'.

Many called him a friend ... some considered him a brother ... his 'kids' called him Mister Boggs ... but to me he will always be my Boo Bean.

Ray will be entombed at Rose Hill Burial Park in Fairlawn, Ohio. He has a 'penthouse' in a mausoleum by the lake, as he wanted, thanks to the generosity of friends.

My heartfelt gratitude goes out to all those who have been there for me in this difficult time, as we strive to celebrate Ray's life, support each other and grieve the loss of our dear friend.

x/RICHARD

==

Read his obituary here.

Read a features article about Ray's life from the Akron Beacon Journal here.

Read the WGI's tribute to Ray here.

Read MEPA's remembrance notice here.

Read the Norton High School Marching Band's memories of Ray here.

Read a transcript of my eulogy for Ray here.

==

Happy Bunny Day

2008-03-23T08:31:00.004Z

[AKRON - Better the bunny you know ...]

Beware of imitations!

Look for the BIG BUNNY seal of approval ...

Gotta love da' feets!

:-)

x/RICHARD

10 YEARS!

2008-03-16T15:07:00.008Z

[16 March 1998]

Ten years have passed since I graduated from college at Georgia State University in Atlanta.

My BA is in Minority Relations ... which is, essentially, lots of sociology & psychology paired with minority studies.

In the photo below, I am right of centre about five rows from the back.

Did you spot me?

:-p

This is a glimpse of how I looked ten years ago:

I still have that sweatshirt but it's in storage back in England.

x/RICHARD

20 Years!

2008-03-12T04:03:00.014Z

[12th March 1988]

The Bank of England withdrew the £1 note from circulation––making way for pound coins.

The soundtrack to this change was a diverse and danceable UK pop chart ... the urban-twinged disco of Yazz & the Plastic Population ... the perfect boy band that was Bros (the brothers Goss) ... the shocking success of twangy but genius Fairground Attraction ... the clever samples & swirling beats of Mark Moore's S'Express ... the further exploration & pop art of the Pet Shop Boys ... and the continuing evolution of pop perfection that was (and is!) Bananarama––still churning out the hits with help from "the new girl", our Jacquie!

x/RICHARD

The 'Ick' Factor

2008-01-07T03:05:00.000Z

[NOW PLAYING: I Begin To Spin - Dannii Minogue v. Dead or Alive]

WARNING: Lying around for ten days with the bunny lung lurgy can result in a Dannii Minogue-type appearance:

Oh dear gawd! It's the 'gay tilt' ...

That was NOT intentional ... but it did make me laugh.

What a contrast! The picture of me is Photoshop-free and all-natural. Perhaps I should reconsider that.

Tomorrow is a shaving day. Ten days on, I look like a Wookiee ...

Wookiee Minogue?

x/RICHARD

The Bunny Lung Lurgy.

2008-01-01T05:39:00.000Z

[AKRON - Things *can* always get worse.]

New Year's Eve!

Where were you?

At midnight, London time, I was still in casualty at Akron City Hospital, having just been diagnosed with acute bronchitis. For now, I am on Doxycycline and an Albuterol inhaler. This comes after three days festering in bed with a fever over 39c.

At midnight, Ohio time, I did manage to escape the isolation of my room and sit on the edge of the stairs, a careful distance from Ray who cannot be exposed to my germs. "Happy new year" and then everyone went to bed.

So that's that.

I've a few more days in bed, methinks, so keep those funny online greeting cards coming!

:-)

Thanks.

x/RICHARD

PS - Ray was not home for Xmas but I was with him at Cleveland Clinic from 11 AM till 10 PM. He had a stream of visitors throughout the day and received quite a few lovely presents. Ray was, however, home for Boxing Day.

Good news!

2007-12-20T11:14:00.000Z

[CLEVELAND - Relieved & grateful.]

Ray is on the mend!

He was extubated today and relatively normal by the time I saw him.

It was a joy to see him sitting up and talking (a lot!) ... unable to stop watching the telly ... eating ice & drinking non-stop ... laughing & being naughty with the staff.

Ray is a quality bean and has suddenly bounced back!

He is not 'well' yet and won't be released for several days but it is possible he'll be home for Xmas.

Hurrah!

x/RICHARD

PS - One assumes that after some time at home and an 'all clear' on the pneumonia front, Ray will return to the top of the Liver List. (-:

Blue Xmas

2007-12-19T11:55:00.001Z

[Akron - It's like Canada ... only without the excitement.]

All is not well in Ohio.

Ray, my friend here who is awaiting a liver transplant, has been unconscious in the ICU for 12 days now due to pneumonia and ammonia (hepatic encephalopathy) . I have been back & forth constantly to the hospital when allowed/possible and in tears at random times throughout the day every day.

On the same weekend that he was rushed to the hospital, I was made redundant. The Radisson Akron City Center (The Radish & Acorn Shitty Centre) thought now, with Ray in critical condition and Xmas upon us, would be a great time to fire me! It was an awful job and they expected a lot for $8 (£4) an hour. I suffer no embarrassment or regret over it. Sod it! Good luck to them on finding dependable, intelligent staff who will tolerate the madness & abuse for an unliveable wage.

So here's Big Bunny's Xmas summary:

(A) Ray is *still* in critical condition.

(B) I have no job now and it is difficult to focus on job hunting while my only friend in an 800-mile radius is so very ill.

(C) My quality of life has sunk to a new low. All is very dull and I spend most of my time sat alone in my room. <--(video link!)

Okay. Pity party over!

In an attempt to end this post on a positive note, I shall tell you about the two fabulous Xmas gifts I have received unexpectedly:

(1) My friend Laura, who I worked with at The Fox Theatre in Atlanta, sent me the funniest book. It's called Disapproving Rabbits and it is an absolute delight! I can look at it for hours. It's almost 200 pages of wonderful photos of expressive bunnies with funny captions. Twisted & bizarre. She knows me so well!

(2) After hearing about my hard times and broken camera, my friend Stephen (who is English but working in Switzerland) clearly lost his mind and bought me a stunning digital camera! It is a Canon PowerShot SD1000 (watch the video on that link). It features, among other bells & whistles, a multi-shot self-timer, a large viewing screen and 7.1 megapixels! In short, this camera is a *major* upgrade. Stephen even bought me a larger, 2 GB memory card for it. Words fail me!

So after the next snowfall, expect some lovely photos of my quaint not-quite-Canada neighbourhood.

By the way, I've not seen a bunny round here in months! Where did they all go?

I need a friend! Or at least a bunny to frolic with in the snow ...

No time or energy for mailing out Xmas cards this year. Click here to see the digital Xmas card I designed for everyone.

Happy holidays!

x/RICHARD

PS - Another Xmas in London will go on without me. It's been over a year since I have seen my friends back in England. You have no idea just how much I miss my life there.

BANANARAMA: The Works.

2007-10-27T22:54:00.000+01:00

[The AIN'T THAT AMERICA? tour continues. Currently in: Columbus, OH.]

Out on Guy Fawke’s Day ... re-enact VENUS round the bonfire!

BANANARAMA The Works -- 2007 UK 3-CD set comprising a 48-track retrospective of the girls’ career featuring all the hits, key album tracks and rarities.

CD1:
1. Really Saying Something
2. Shy Boy
3. Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye
4. Cruel Summer
5. Robert De Niro’s Waiting
6. Cheers Then
7. Rough Justice (7-Inch Version)
8. Hot Line To Heaven (7-Inch Version)
9. Wish You Were Here
10. Through A Child’s Eyes
11. Aie A Mwana
12. He’s Got Tact
13. Young At Heart
14. King Of The Jungle
15. State I’m In
16. The Wild Life

CD2:
1. Venus
2. Love In The First Degree
3. I Want You Back (Single Version)
4. I Heard A Rumour
5. A Trick Of The Night
6. Do Not Disturb
7. I Can’t Help It
8. More Than Physical
9. White Train
10. True Confessions
11. Set On You
12. Clean Cut Boy (Party Size)
13. Mr Sleaze
14. Bad For Me
15. Once In A Lifetime
16. Ecstasy (Wild Style)

CD3:
1. Help
2. Nathan Jones (Single Version)
3. Love, Truth & Honesty
4. Cruel Summer ‘89
5. Preacher Man
6. More More More (Dave Ford Single Mix)
7. Only Your Love
8. Long Train Running
9. Movin’ On
10. Last Thing On My Mind (7-Inch Mix)
11. Is Your Love Strong Enough?
12. Tripping On Your Love (Robin Hancock Single Mix)
13. Ain’t No Cure
14. Outta Sight
15. Give It All Up For Love
16. Is She Good To You

Wow!

It has our Jacquie on the cover. Hurrah! I wonder if a photo of the original line-up with Siobhan is on the back? [Despite a persistent but outdated trio image, Bananarama has been a duo (Sara & Keren) since 1992.]

It’s not even expensive ...

£12.99 @ Esprit.

£11.99 @ Amazon.co.uk.

$16.88 @ Tower.com.

Woo-hoo!

x/RICHARD

Thirty-Four

2007-09-14T04:31:00.000+01:00

[Akron - West Market. East Market. Action on The Square.]

My birthday was very anticlimactic.

I'm a bit alone & isolated here in my Lake Erie sanctuary ... especially since Ray has been in hospital!

On Tuesday night, I rushed Ray to casualty with a fever of almost 40c (103.6 f). Turns out he has peritonitis. He'll be okay but won't be released till the weekend. Ray is a lucky guy and has been swarmed with visitors and phone calls.

Thanks to modern technology, I too am feeling the love!

I got birthday wishes by text & email from: Jacquie O, Ben Ben Bender Bunny, Rich (my Howie), Pip, Sue Tilley, Peter McL, Alan McP, Nana James, Sis, Sir Gerry, Kimberly, JP Barda, Anna in Sweden, Sean in Lebanon, Chris Campbell, Mum, Alistair in ZA, Markus in ZA, Mr Jeremy, Kosher Marc, Devon, Davearama, Austin, Dr Gary, Dr Grant, Rodney, Ray (of Sunshine), Mistress Laura, Valeria, Christ in Belgium, Fabulous Michael B, Gina, Ashley, Derrick in Orkney, Hoogie, many online acquaintances, some radio DJs in London ... even some strangers!

When I got home tonight, there was a wild rabbit in the front yard. It didn't run away from me.

I took it as a sign that a good year is ahead.

Blessed be my beloved bunnies!

x/RICHARD

Bon Voyage Bunny!

2007-08-30T22:38:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - Gay Bar - Lots of straight folk!]

Last night was my going-away do at The New Order.

I was pleased with the turn-out and with the effort of the staff at The New Order. Todd and Dan did a fab job with the bunny-themed decorating and with the catering! I only brought the cake (a lovely carrot cake torte) and provided six custom CDs for the jukebox.

See all the photos here.

Nobody got *too* buck-wild but a good time was had by all ...

Goodbye, Atlanta ... hello, Lake Erie ... see you soon, London!

x/RICHARD

Licensed Bunny

2007-08-26T21:13:00.000+01:00

[Georgia DMV - Not entirely peachy.]

Because my Georgia Drivers License expired more than two years ago, I had to 'start again' like a wee teen.

This meant taking all three exams again: the written rules exam, the road sign exam and the actual driving test!

It was a bit of a larf and a bit of a headache.

Due to some good fortune (ie, three people in a row with complicated paperwork issues), I was able to be squeezed in for a same-day driving test without an appointment. I only waited seven minutes!

So I'm licensed to drive in Georgia--even though I only got the bloody thing so I could help with the drive to Ohio! I move next Sunday (02 September 2007).

Big thanks to Shannon for taking me to the DMV and for letting me test in his car.

For the record, here are my scores:

Road Rules Exam - 85%

Road Sign Exam - 100%

Driving Test - 100%

Hurrah!

Booty Luv

2007-08-11T11:09:00.000+01:00

[My song of the moment.]

An early promo of this Lucy Pearl cover fell into my hands in mid-July. It's the dance track of the year, in my opinion.

Ladies & gentlemen ... here's BOOTY LUV with Don't Mess With My Man !!!

I won't be a lady, no-no.

:-)

The video could be better but it's a right larf all the same. Fab ending! If I had 5p for every time I've seen such a site whilst making my way home in London ...

:-o

Available in shops and for download from the 3rd of September in the UK.

Hurrah for pop acts who can actually sing!

RICHARD

BUNNYSPLASH: Lake Erie Shocker!

2007-07-29T21:44:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - Wet but not flooded like most of the UK!]

In the 1950 Warner Brothers cartoon WHAT'S UP, DOC?, Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny perform a vaudeville act in which Elmer asks Bugs how the state of Ohio is different from the others. When Bugs has no answer, Elmer offers the punch line:

“Because it’s high in the middle and round on both ends: O-Hi-O!”

Well, there you go.

Or there *I* go, as it were ...

I am moving to Lake Erie!

Surprising, eh?

My mate Ray made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

Yes, I am still returning to England for good but I've had enough of the 13th Colony. My perception that Atlanta is a lovely part of my past that should have stayed in the past persists.

Perhaps moving to Lake Erie is a slightly radical change but it feels as if I've been sat here festering since my UK trip last September.

After all, it's just a new adventure ... and life is short!

Hopefully this bit of change will 'set me free' in a sense and end the cycle of inaction, thus enabling me to 'get on with it' and get back to my life in London.

WORKING HARD. LIVING CHEAPLY. SAVING MONEY.

I already have a job in Akron and things look good for finding a second one. I will be saving money and fattening up the UK Fund ... whilst trimming down my bunnylicious voluptuousness.

My move will take place Labor (Labour!) Day Weekend.

Given that I haven't properly updated my blog in nearly a year, I had an absolute plethora of items on a list to comment on ... only now I can't be arsed! These included my successful but short stint on Prozac ... my absolutely genuine gratitude to Androo in London, Ben Ben Bender Bunny & Hoogie for being there for me [online!] ... my Muji bunny from Bryan ... Gabe & I having an Xmas Day vegetarian challenge ... "finding Jesus" at Rick's Xmas party ... good tips at The Fox Theatre on New Year's Eve & at the Atlanta Gay Pride dance party (which turned the Egyptian Ballroom into a veritable Backstreet for one night) ... surprising my mum with an Elvis musical ... London's smoking ban ... various parties and nights out ... my ever-growing mass of "bunny stuff" ...

You'll just have to ask!

Gotta dash.

Loads of things to do ... pack up my things, plot a massive eBay sale, get a new drivers license so I can help drive back to Ohio, plan a going-away party ... just to name a few!

More soon.

I mean it!

RICHARD

PS - You can comment on this post by clicking here.

BIRTHDAY WHORES.

2006-10-02T21:29:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - September babies]

Along with tons of other birthdays this month (including my own), my online friend Brett had a bit of a massive house party on Saturday night.

The music was fierce (thanks to DJ Headmaster Ritual) and the cake was ... well ... just you look at it!

My friend James, who I know via Bananarama, attended the soirée with me.

I honestly had an excellent time, met tons of new people, snogged a woman, met a couple of men and danced the night away.

There were many colourful characters in attendance ... but what else would you expect at a theme party called ESCAPE FROM WHORE ISLAND !?!

You lookin' fierce, Girrrl !!!

See my photos here and Brett's collection of pics here.

Absolutely flawless!

Richard the Big Bunny

LONDON: The Final Countdown

2006-09-28T18:47:00.000+01:00

[LONDON - Monday & Tuesday]

Well aware that my time was running out, I got an early start on Monday.

The tube took me to Tottenham Court Road where I did a bit of shopping on Oxford Street. Ironically, I spent most of my shopping time in Sports World for cheap comfy sportswear and a bit of time in the Virgin MegaStore.

I wandered straight up Oxford Street in the rain to Berwick Street, where I had lunch at Cotton Café ... like the good ol' days! Their vegetarian 'English breakfast' is a rather good bargain.

After lunch, I headed down to the Soho campus of Westminster Kingsway College. My last real job in London was working there as an Academic Counselor in Admissions. It was nice to catch up with former co-workers and find out what has happened to those who have moved on (or, in this case, mostly just transferred to other WKC campuses).

My time after that is a bit of a blur, as I just spent a bit of time wandering around, thinking, reminiscing and even getting teary-eyed as I sat in Soho Square on Kirsty's bench.

Eventually, I ended up at First Out having a pot of tea downstairs by myself. I had postcards to do (not that any of the got mailed!).

My mate Alister joined me during his lunch break and we had a chance to gossip & bitch like we once did regularly.

Monday night, I headed up to Androo's in Mill Hill ('home', of sorts!) for dinner and an evening in. Androo is my best mate but this was the first spot of quality time we would have during my jaunt through England. We cooked dinner together and laughed at video bits & bobs he'd been saving for me.

Bless 'im! I miss Androo the most ...

On Tuesday, I got a rather late start but did manage to meet up with my friend Emile for lunch along the South Bank.

Emile is possibly the sexiest older man I know ... but I know lots of sexy older men ... so it's hard to choose just one!

After lunch, we walked along the Thames and made our way to a familiar pub near London Bridge. After wine & a good natter, we hopped on the rush-hour tube and I kept my hand not-so-subtlely on his arse the whole time ... just to keep my balance!

[*larf*]

The time had come for my evening at Retro Bar. I had emailed & texted nearly everyone over the weekend that I'd be round Retro after 6 PM on Tuesday for drinks & goodbyes. For a while, it was just Colin, Pip, Alister and myself but eventually the colourful cast expanded to include Kosher Marc, South African Dirk, Welsh Mark, Gerry with a 'G' ... even a few internet strangers and former OUT in the UK mates!

In a bit of a peculiar twist, a wee lad named Matt took a shine to me and I was too drunk to really resist.

Good for the ego! Unfortunately, this meant a few of my late arrivals got a bit neglected.

APOLOGIES!

After walking Matt & his mate Posh Steph to Embankment, I returned to Retro but a few of my mates were already gone. Retro closed soon so we said our goodbyes and I made my way to & through the tube station.

I like that shot ... artistic, innit?

My intention was to go back to Canning Town pack my things and get back on the tube at 5 AM. Of course, I was bladdered ... so I fell asleep on my bed and woke up 4:30 AM in a mad panic! However, I did make it to Gatwick on time and all went well with my flight and return to Atlanta.

My soul is recharged from my time in London but I am no more happier than before about being anywhere else.

Thanks to all my mates in England, new & old, who made my time there fun & productive.

I adore you lot!

Richard the Big Bunny

Hull & Brighton

2006-09-24T23:56:00.000+01:00

[England - All around & back again.]

This will be short, as it's very late and *I* am very knackered!

Three cities in three days ... hundreds & hundreds of miles ...

Ben came to my rescue on Friday afternoon and we loaded my things from Johnathon's loft in Walthamstow into a rental car and drove them to Hull.

Relocating my stored things (ie, all of my wordly possessions!) was the most important task at hand for this trip to England. Done. Thanks, Ben! You're my hero.

We returned to London on Saturday morning and loaded up the car again. I sent Ben back to Hull with the remainder of my things and dashed home to shave & shower for my date.

Dr Grant and I met at Retro Bar but soon wandered out to find food. After dinner at Pizza Express and a few more cocktails at Retro, we ended up at his place ... in Brighton!

And he made me a proper English breakfast [read: "walloping fry-up with Quorn sausages"] this morning ...

Who says Virgos aren't spontaneous?

More photos soon,
Richard the Norty Bunny

Camden & Soho.

2006-09-21T23:54:00.000+01:00

[London ... the beat goes on!]

Met up with my mate Marc today after school (he's a teaching assistant) at The Edge, off Soho Square. To my suprise, most of The Edge was closed for renovation ... so only the downstairs was available for use (small!).

After that, we ran a few errands up and down Oxford Street. Holland & Barrett. Boots. Tourist tat. That kind of thing!

For my own amusement, I priced the Clinique Facial Scrub for Men at Boots.

* * * £30.50 * * *

That's about *four times* the price ($16.50 in the US) ... I nearly fainted!

Some things never change and London *is* the most expensive place to live in the world.

Still, walking down Oxford Street felt familiar and comfortable to me ... despite being a frantic stampede, per the usual.

Marc & I then took the tube north to Camden Town to rendezvous with Androo at The Black Cap. Androo had my UK mobile phone and I had several of his eBay winnings that had been sent to me in Atlanta. We had a LOVELY time sitting outside in The Black Cap's lovely beer garden. The weather was perfect and I got rather tipsy after a couple of Stellas (I'm a lightweight!).

Androo went off towards home, as he was tired from working all day (with Jordan [Katie Price], no less!), so Marc & I carried on back to Soho for dinner. Eating at First Out was like seeing an old friend and the vegetarian nachos were comforting. Thankfully, some things never change.

Marc left me after dinner ('school night!') and I wandered around Soho reflecting and relishing every bit of the London I have been missing in the past year.

After a few drinks at The Duke of Wellington by myself, I too decided to call it a night and return to Canning Town.

Better rest up ... Friday is "moving day."

Richard

London: I'm home!

2006-09-20T22:38:00.000+01:00

[LONDON - 20 September 2006]

Wow ... it certainly feels like home here.

No real complaints about my flight other than that it landed at Gatwick (not on the tube) instead of Heathrow (directly on the tube system). But that was not all of my 'journey' ...

I did have a moment of frustration & mild panic. It was slightly overwhelming to have been awake for so long, to have landed so far outside of the city, having only £5.20 in cash money (which was all spent literally in minutes using the pay phone), a credit card that refused to work (at first) and no one meeting me to hold my hand.

Welcome to Big Smoke! I'm used to it ... and I absolutely love it here.

Mind you, all of the faffing about & bother could have been avoided if I'd planned better (or at all). To avoid disappointment, I never really made any plans for this trip over. I was not even sure if this trip was going to happen until Saturday (thanks Marc!) ... and even then I did not get a ticket until Monday night (for a Tuesday departure!).

Obviously, I sorted it all out and felt instantly better once I had £30 in cash in my hand and was back in London proper (after waiting an hour for the cheaper, post-rush hour train ticket from the airport).

The next two hours were spent on the tube to North Acton (far west) to get a key to Alan's flat and then journeying back to East London to his flat. I finally arrived here at about 12:30 PM ... sweaty & knackered!

Did I go right to sleep? Of course not! I had to make a dozen phone calls and do a few things online. I finally laid down for a nap at about 1:45 PM, setting the alarm for 3:30 PM.

The plan was to get up, shower and meet Androo at around 6 PM at First Out (gay vegetarian cafe ... yes, really!), as they are the only place in London with good nachos.

When I woke up at *5:30 PM* and finally stopped screaming, I ran to the phone and rang Androo with pleading apologies ... left on his voicemail.

Turns out he was still shopping in Camden Town and suspected I *might* oversleep.

:-)

Smart boy.

Thus, I decided to stay in tonight, watch some telly, make more phone calls, chat with Alan and make some plans for my remaining time here in good ol' Eng-er-land.

I'll be in Hull for two days so I won't really have *that* much time here in London ... so I best have a game plan.

So many people to see, so little time ...

Richard

BIRTHDAY_BUNNY

2006-09-17T22:43:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - What's another year?]

Wednesday night was my do-drop-in birthday party ...

I got stuff ...

Bunny stuff!

I was not expecting any gifts ... so I was pleased with the amount of bunny birthday booty!

:-)

It was a do-drop-in party and many people came & went.

I don't think more than 10 people were here at any one time ... so I was able to focus on the conversation & adoration ... until that 7th or 8th glass of Champagne!

Friends, drinks, music, gifts ... I actually had a very good time!

It was nice to feel loved & appreciated on my birthday.

My guests seem to enjoy themselves, too. It was brilliant to see everyone and just mellow a bit.

Now I'm off to London to see my friends there and to shuffle my belongings to a new storage place.

Expect details from the road ...

To Hull & back!

Richard the Big Bunny

LDN: That's city life ...

2006-09-03T03:13:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - British Saturday Night on the telly]

Lily Allen's song LDN has been my 'song of the summer' ... keeps me smiling!

It's been in high rotation on my iPod since I got a promo earlier this year.

And now that her song SMILE went to Number One on the UK charts, LDN has been re-released with a new video:

Mind you, the original video has its simple charm:

London is lovely, innit?

Everything seems to look as it should
But I wonder what goes on behind doors
A fella looking dapper but he's sittin' with a slapper
Then I see it's a pimp and his crack whore

Well, it's lovely in parts!

It's all about attitude & perspective, methinks ...

I MISS MY LONDON LIFE !!!

[*sigh*]

Carry on, Miss Allen.

Richard the Big Bunny

You might larf, you might frown
Walkin' round London Town

NEW_JOB

2006-08-28T04:43:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - 2nd Day @ 2nd Job]

Today was my first real day of work at my second job at the pharmacy ...

Yes, that's right ... I'm a "pharm tech" (that's a chemist's assistant ... but in America!).

I actually started on Friday but was stuck at a desk futzing about with an interactive computer program about patients' rights, privacy laws & regulations and such ... FOR HOURS & HOURS.

But I passed my exam ... and got a name badge ... and my medical-esque blue work jacket ... so it's official!

Today was my first real day of pharmacy work. I really enjoyed it !!!

But I am knackered ...

My feet hurt. I am not accustomed to standing for eight hours.

Only time will tell if I can survive Monday ... reportedly the busiest, most stressful day in the pharmacy ... and then I go straight to work at The Fox for 5 or 6 more hours!

That means I'll work from 10 AM until about 11 PM.

Oi ... I need the money!

Richard

CROSS-POLLINATION

2006-08-14T03:09:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - High on Vicodin - Recovering from oral surgery]

It seems I have two blogs now.

The time I spend on MySpace has increased and I have a blog on there, too. Though sometimes posts get repeated here on my primary blog, there are some unique posts on the MySpace blog.

Click on the above image for a look at my blog on MySpace.

The MySpace blog will always be secondary to this one.

This is still the primary source for Big Bunny news and Richard of London updates!

See you in the headlines ...

Yours with bunnyfeets,
Richard of London

MEN: I know what I want!

2006-08-09T07:02:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - Over 100 degrees Fahrenheit today!]

I received an email today from an online dating service that I had long forgotten even joining.

The groovy part is that my advert on there contained a long lost blurb I'd written about what I like ... but, alas, it has been recovered.

Hurrah!

Here it is in its entirety:

==

International vegetarian musician on the run ...

SWEET BUNNY SEEKS NON-WHORE for love, life & laughter ... and a bit of monogamous perversion!

:-)

Singing vegetarian Londoner who has gone into exile ...

A thinker. A singer. A bit manic. Educated. Globetrotter. Passionate vegetarian. Non-smoker. No drugs ever. Agnostic. Politically-aware. Too fat. Posh & difficult yet festive & entertaining ... I can be quite silly and am generally a rather happy person (despite my troubles!).

I am myself (whatever that is) and I do not 'act' anything.

Life is short. Be free. Live loud!

You?

I have a very open mind when it comes to types of guys, looks, body types, usw. I do not tend to be sexually attracted to anyone who is larger than 'stocky', wildly effeminate or an obvious poseur. I *do* like 'regular guys' and normal bodies. I prefer someone who is comfortable being himself and who is not consumed by what other people think, assume or might be impressed by ...

When it comes to a long-term relationship, I am 100% certain that I could never settle down with a non-vegetarian or a smoker. Other than that, I try not to establish too many rules because one never knows what one might miss by prejudging! Character is what counts ... yet there must also be sexual chemistry. I have found that to be undeniable.

==

Funny, eh?

It was written before my last relationship but everything stated there is still correct & relevant.

I know what I want ... but I'm not so afraid of being alone that I can't wait for the real thing.

Like Macy Gray once said, "Love is gonna get ya, baby !!!"

But lest we forget the wisdom of Hazell Dean: "I'll be no fool for love ..."

And as Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South wrote, "Love takes time, we all agree ... and time is not the easiest to cheat ..."

Real love is worth the wait.

Richard the Big Bunny

LIBERATION

2006-07-29T07:22:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - It's feckin' hot, folks!]

Enough of this heat & humidity already ...

I couldn't take it.

I shaved my head!

It is now MUCH easier to stay cool.

:-)

The heat here has been oppressive lately. Truly intolerable!

I stay indoors mostly & try to keep from melting.

Rumour has it that it's all the same in London.

At least I have swank air conditioning here in America ...

Hurrah!

Richard the Skint Bunny

EXPLOSIVE!

2006-07-16T22:13:00.001+01:00

[Atlanta - Sunday - On a break from work]

On Friday morning, I woke up with an "upset stomach" (read: sneaky explosive diarrhoea) and a high fever.

By Saturday, the fever was gone ... but the other difficulties remain.

:-(

It's Sunday ... I'm working a double ... but on a break between shows and over at Fresh 2 Order (free internet access!).

Despite finally being able to eat a lovely meal, I am still not feeling very well.

MJ sent me this to cheer me up ...

It made me chuckle.

Thanks, Mister MJ !!!

Richard the Exploding Bunny

INDEPENDENT_FUNK

2006-07-13T07:36:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - One month further down the road]

Long time no scooby, eh ?!?

Sorry about the lack of an update here ... I've been a busy bunny.

Let's see ... a month has gone by ... what have I been doing with myself?

The schedule at The Fox has been slow so I've been working a lot less. This is *NOT* good, as I find myself uncomfortably poor. I should have found a second or new job weeks ago! I really hope to find something within walking distance from home.

My attempts to have a social life again have been curtailed by my lack of funds but I was going out a lot more at first. Oscar's is still a favourite here, if only for the music videos and the nearby location. I have also been dropping into The New Order now & again. It's been called a 'wrinkle bar' (due to its older clientele) but I rather like it. Everyone is friendly and even the top-shelf alcohol drinks are CHEAP.

There has been a bit of mischief, a few mistakes, some backfired attempts at "doing the right things to move on" but only time can heal some wounds. Mourning the loss of my relationship with Jim continues. Having finally had enough of him being an impetuous old fool playing house with his child-bride-to-be, I deleted him from my mobile phone a few days ago. I sobbed more loudly than I ever have before so, clearly, that must have represented something huge for me. I have felt very peaceful since then so I suppose this means I have finally 'let go'.

Moving on to good news & a brighter future, I am making new friends. A truly lovely person named 'MJ' has come into my life. He has helped me through the last of my dark days and I seem to be getting back on track. I appreciate the hand-up he's given me more than he knows. I have made a few other new friends as well ... including a vegetarian Brazilian and even Jim's ex-boyfriend-before-me Michael.

No real news about going home to England but I will be in London for a visit in late August or September. I am not moving back just yet but I do have to go relocate my belongings from their current storage place in Walthamstow. I will be moving the lot up to my mate's in Hull. (Thank you, Ben!)

There is no real 'plan', per se, but I do know *how* I am returning to England when I do. It is all set and the delay is, essentially, a money issue. I need to save up for the application fee (almost $500!) and I will need a fairly substantial sum to live on for a while till I am able to legally work. It is very complicated and the delay was, indeed, necessary. Androo continues to be my 'rock' and I miss him so much!

I let the anniversary of my return to America ('exile', if you will) pass without mention to anyone. I have been back here for a year & two weeks now.

I MISS LONDON.

Showing old photos to MJ the other day really reminded me of what I have there. It will be nice to have my life back.

It is just a matter of time now.

Oh, one last thing ... I shaved off that dodgy beard! The full goatee I'm sporting now is much more fetching.

What do you think?

Let's just hope it pairs well with my soon-to-be shaved head ...

It's too hot for hair here!

Richard the Big Bunny

GONE A BIT BEARDY

2006-06-13T15:34:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - Morning. Almost no sleep. Taking a nap soon!]

UPDATED FRIDAY - 17 JUNE 2006:
NOW WITH PHOTOS!

Well, I've grown a beard ... and it's a hit!

Almost like an episode from the Twilight Zone, I seemed to have the attention of most everyone at the bar (Oscar's and later Burkhart's) last night ... but, unfortunately, most of the bar was smoking! Ick.

I got three telephone numbers, made a date to see a film, somehow wandered into karaoke at Burkhart's & sang HEY JEALOUSY without much delay. I got dollar bills tucked in various places while singing ... not to mention the four quarters I was handed (I am NOT kidding!). I was more or less a naughty bunny after that.

:-o

Weird night.

I wasn't even flirting. I was genuinely happy sitting with my martinis at the end of the bar and watching the music videos ... but the attention seemed to flow towards me somehow!

Still, it is nice to know I still have *it*.

:-)

Or maybe the stars were aligned just so ... I am well overdue some good fortune!

And to think I *almost* didn't go back out after my short coffee date ...

x/RICHARD

Coiffure.

2006-06-07T03:35:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - Cut my dreads.]

Chop off the old ... release the trapped negative energy ... break with the past ...

Okay, so I just got a haircut!

It'll do.

:-)

My date cancelled ... he's ill ... but I'm going out anyway!

I don't need a date ...

[*struts*]

Movin' on,
Richard the Big Bunny

100th_POST!

2006-06-05T15:33:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - Today really *is* the first day of the rest of my life!]

The time has come to move on ... to catch up ... to focus on the good stuff ... to have a bit more self-respect ... to get my ducks in a row for a return to England ... and to focus on making tomorrow better ... better for *ME*.

Recently, I have been going out with friends from work and having a grand time (not a 'gay old time', Friday night aside, but a good time all the same!).

Laura, Judy, Jerry, Josh, Wes and the rest of the gang are providing me with good times and ample distraction and I'm very grateful. I feel particularly lucky to have Courtenay & Stacy in my life ... who listen to me and provide honest feedback without judgment.

Dancing out at MJQ and late-night nibbles after work ... they have even dragged me to The Clermont Lounge ('where strippers go to die'!). See all the photos by clicking here.

I am trying to reconnect with friends who have been neglected, too.

My good mate Chris ('Hedgie') & his partner Cliff picked me up for dinner. That was a nice distraction!

I have even made some new local Atlanta friends on My Space.

Last Friday night, I went out with my mate Jamie (who I've known for ages and is one of the smartest, most aware Americans I know). We went to Oscar's (video bar). The 'scene' was all very mediocre but I did enjoy our conversation. We popped over to Burkhart's for a minute and even drove to Blake's. It was dead & ugly all round!

The most peculiar thing happened ...

When we went BACK to Oscar's (where I'd been drinking all evening before we stepped out to peruse our options), the doorman was gone so we had to 'ID' at the bar directly with the bartender. He refused to accept my bloody American passport as sufficient ID.

Yes, really!

No wait, it gets better ...

After walking back over to Jamie, the bartender then bellowed out, "YOU HAVE TO LEAVE!"

[*cue me looking stunned & horrified*]

It was like being under-21 again.

Ain't that America ?!?

A bloody passport isn't good enough to get a drink here.

I mean, I am hardly 'foreign-looking' and my passport certainly looks (and is!) real. You'd think I was mistaken for a 15 year-old Mexican girl or something.

I do not have a State Driver's License (it expired just after I moved to England in 2003) so I carry my passport with me instead.

Yes, I could get one ... but, for all intents and purposes, I am 'just visiting' here ... much like you would be. I have a temporary job and a temporary place to live while I'm here. I do not have a car. All of my possessions are in London and I have a London address. It is not denial or wishful thinking for me to say, "Technically, I live in London."

If you visit America, good luck getting a drink! If I can't do it well-dressed and with Federal identification then no one else stands a chance ...

Maybe it's my peculiar 'international' accent getting me into trouble ...

Does it make me seem suspicious to Americans?

Richard the Big Bunny

Married !?!

2006-06-04T15:15:00.000+01:00

[Sunday - Just waking up!]

On MySpace, one can subscribe to other people's blogs.

I had forgotten that I had subscribed to Jim's ...

I woke up to this ...

I have met the most wonderful guy in the world.. His name is John. We are getting married on July 29. I am so looking forward to spending ym life with him. He brings out the best in me and is everything I have been searching for. we have so much fun together, whether its going out dancing or stayiongin and watching a movie. John I love you.

This is a level of stupidity and immaturity that I cannot even comprehend.

Such naïveté will only bring heartache.

Jim was the person I loved the most in this world up until a week ago. We broke up a month a ago (and that's on *his* version of the timeline).

Keep in mind that Jim is almost *43* and has three kids to consider. He met John, who is 24, a month ago in a local shop.

I am not sure who to feel more sorry for at this point ... Jim or John.

The mind boggles ...

The title of this entry on his blog is titled "MY PARTNER".

Your what? Who?

Richard

==

ADDENDUM I - After having time (12 hours at work!) to mentally process this 'announcement', I have come to see it as a blessing and end point ... and I am moving on. Jim is NOT my problem any longer and is NOT someone who deserves my attention. I am embarrassed that I could have loved someone so clueless about genuine love & commitment ... someone who could say and do such foolish things with a new 'boyfriend'. Convenience, youth, simplicity and opportunity does not make John "the one". The most hurtful angle of all this is that his frantically rushed relationship & desperate 'engagement' to this kid makes a mockery of *our* relationship. Jim never deserved me and he still does not deserve a person of my calibre. I do sincerely hope Jim finds real love but first he must learn to recognise it, develop the patience to wait for it and find the strength of character to stay around & work at it.

ADDENDUM II - Someone who knows Jim and the details of our situation offered me some wise words. The following is a snippet of that helpful message. - As complicated as things are with Jim's life, it really is just quite this simple: You are a casualty of *his* chaos. He has pretty much lived a double life since he married the mother of his children. He has always done everything he could to hide the truth, no matter what it is, in an effort to be accepted and liked by the people around him. The truth always catches up to the masquerade and then EVERYONE gets hurt all at once. This pattern is difficult for him to break. Deep down inside you and I and everyone else know that Jim is a good person, but he's got your heart all ensnared in the tangled web he has woven. Whatever lessons he needs to learn about being honest with himself and others, he'll eventually learn. And I think the lesson you have probably learned here is to listen to you "inner voice". You know, the one that kept telling you something wasn't right and that you suspected lies and deception.

HEARTBREAKUP

2006-05-27T09:01:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - A week of sobbing]

Jim & I are getting together for lunch on Monday.

WHY !?! ... I hear you ask.

At my request, Jim is going to break up with me ... in person ... clearly.

Allow me to explain.

You see, Jim & I never actually broke up ... oh, we spoke ON THE PHONE once at the beginning of May about the possibility of "moving things to the friendship level" due to my return to England ... but I didn't react well and I begged him to wait at least until I'd applied for my UK visa. I thought we would speak about it more in person.

Only that never happened ...

Jim just vanished from my life!

I've not seen him since then. Short phone calls, far fewer text messages and an uneasy quiet ...

And to add insult to injury, I actually agreed to give him a bit of space so he could have 'Me Time'.

As I know now (thanks to my being contacted by two 'acquaintances' of Jim's on Tuesday), his 'Me Time' was spent first out & about living it up a bit and then off with his new boyfriend, a 24-year-old kid he met working in a local tat shop. They have spent every free minute together. They had a weekend away together in the mountains. Jim picks him up from work almost daily in his new sportscar. And those are just the details I know about ...

Cut back to me ... still thinking I am Jim's boyfriend ... now distraught that my return to England has been cancelled/delayed and my visa cannot be applied for any time soon.

So ... Jim wanted to break up because I might return to England soon ... only that isn't going to happen. He couldn't wait till I at least *applied* for a visa or had some sort of idea what our future options might be.

And then, after weeks of all but complete silence, I learn (from complete strangers ... keep that in mind!) that he has a new boyfriend half his age ... and a nasty (but curable?) 'bug' that will plague his life for some time.

This, dear readers, is why I spent all week sobbing!

I could not sleep at all Thursday night and then cried from 6 AM till 8 AM. I didn't know I had it in me to cry for that long a time.

Jim left *me* behind ... after all that talk & worry about me leaving him behind.

He did so in the most callous & cowardly way ... with lies & distance.

I am angry. I feel abandoned. I feel cheated out of a lot of things.

His new boyfriend will have Jim's post-school-year Summer of free time that *I* was looking forward to and promised.

Lisa, Jim's ex-wife, finally moved out of the house. I never got to go to Jim's house. His new boyfriend has been over several times ... *and* met all of Jim's kids.

And James ... Jim's oldest child (16) and the only one I've met. James is a sweet, caring and intelligent young man. I began to sob on the phone again once this week about saying goodbye to James. I cannot be sure why but I guess I had envisioned my future with Jim and as a step-parent to James. I asked Jim if I could write a goodbye letter to James and he said it would be okay.

The only nice thing I can say about Jim at this point is that he has been trying to appear as if he is taking it like a man since being caught out in a web of his own lies. He's admitted to everything, apologised and continues to talk to me whenever I feel the need.

Jim says the lies & deception were to spare my feelings. There may be a bit of truth to that (in Jim's mind, at least) but it was mostly about him being unable to deal with actually dumping me ... because THAT would make HIM uncomfortable.

The coward's way out certainly blew up in his face! He agrees.

Jim replaced me. Quickly. I guess that speaks obvious volumes about how much he really loved me. How else could I feel now?

He just couldn't be single for a moment and 'swung' to the next boyfriend. This, I feel, is a chronic problem in his life. He cannot be single or alone for even a month ... and even seems to overlap relationships to avoid loneliness (Michael ... then me ... then John, his new 'boy'). If it's not the truth, it is certainly damning circumstantial evidence.

Maybe if he'd taken time out, he might have found a bit of clarity and we would have known that my leaving for England soon was NOT going to happen.

We will never know now.

I loved that man more than many of you realised ... apparently, more than he realised. Jim was all I needed. He brought comfort, contentment and stability to my life when I first began this 'exile in America' and what grew out of that was beautiful. I was satisfied. I never cheated. I was happy with him and I meant every word on the day I told him that I would like to grow old with him.

He was everything I ever wanted in a man ... or so I believed.

The cloud of my possible departure loomed too greatly over Jim, I guess. Despite his mistakes and untruths, 'England' weighed heavily on him and he has cried a couple of times about my leaving in the past.

If he'd just waited another two weeks ... but he gave up on us too soon.

And I've been replaced. I am bothered. I am jealous. I am so very saddened.

I am not in a place yet where I can say life goes on or it wasn't meant to be ...

Our love has died ... and the pain I feel overwhelms me up to this minute.

Jim might have eventually lost me to England anyway ... but now he's lost my respect & trust, too.

Forgiveness will be a long, hard road ... but I won't let this negatively affect who I am. I will continue to be a happy, loving person ... only wiser and far less trusting!

It seems Jim NEVER stops looking ... even when he's happy in a relationship. How much is enough? Will it ever stop? If he never focuses on ONE person at a time, how will he ever find happiness with a partner?

I do wonder if the new kid knows what he's in for ...

Richard

NOTHING BUT BAD NEWS!

2006-05-24T01:30:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - Just another day in exile.]

My return to England has been postponed. I could not be more upset.

No, wait. Yes, I could ...

On top of that bad news, Jim just recently suggested that "we should moved things to the friendship level" (mostly because of the threat of my imminent return to England ... oh, the irony!).

Kicking me while I'm down?

It gets worse!

Today, two people who have known & dated Jim contacted me (yes, they came to me) with details & questions about our past nine months together and all hell broke loose (a nice Southern phrase there!).

Jim has lied to me and the others but he claims it was to spare my feelings and avoid hurting the others.

After what I've learned today, I have to question if Jim even knows where the truth ends and the lies begin ...

I am too bewildered thus far to even feel the hurt.

And he's already dating someone else ... at least the one I know about.

Despite the improbability, I hope that Chris, Chris, Barry, Marty, Darren, the guys in Chicago, Michael and anyone else who thinks Jim is their boyfriend reads this.

There is so much more that I cannot say ...

Suffice to say, I've been very stupid and you've been warned.

I wanted so much to end on good terms and believe that Jim is a good guy.

[*larf*]

Jim Altman is a man without honour and has disappointed me like no other person I have ever loved.

Regardless, I'm alone again and I'm not headed for England any time soon.

Everything I have been living for is gone.

What now?

Answers on a postcard ...

Unhappy & alone in exile,
Richard the Big Bunny

==

"What a fool ... that I should ever believe in love, truth & honesty ... all the time, you just keep on hurting me." - Bananarama, 1988

==

YOU_SPIN_ME_ROUND

2006-04-25T20:53:00.000+01:00

[Celebs Who Matter News]

The autobiography of tough-&-tumble transmorph Pete Burns is out soon!

No, Sir ... I don't like the cover photo ...

His makeup is harsh & unflattering (think Jackie Stallone).

If he's gonna look like crap on the cover of his own book, it might as well be honest & funny ... so I made my own cover.

Says it all, I think!

:-)

Note: This is funnier if you've been watching CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER ...

We are amused!

[*royal wave*]

In the cat-house with my bitches,
Richard the Big Bunny

UNLIMITED FREE BEER !!!

2006-04-18T23:43:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - 18 February 2006]

The Sweetwater Brewery hosted a party yesterday for the companies & employees that sell their beer.

Fox Theatre employees had the privilege of unlimited free beer! The other folks there were limited to four beers.

In addition to a tour of the brewery, we all tasted each of the brews (year-round and seasonal).

I prefer the Sweetwater Blue ...

It's fair to say that a spectacular time was had by all ...

The venue there at the brewery is fabulous! I'd go there again just to hang out and drink beer.

Most of my photos came out great! I look forward to seeing the others' snaps ...

The festivities continued at Las Margaritas, where some folks ate while others continued to drink. I settled for iced tea and chips & guacamole.

Click here to see all the photos or watch the slideshow !!!

You can also download any of the 25 photos (in various sizes) here.

Enjoy the madness!

Richard the Big Bunny

For me, it's just BUNNY DAY.

2006-04-16T20:22:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - Oestre 2006]

Jesus schmeezus ... it's Easter Sunday!

One does wonder how few people are aware of the origins of Easter's traditions & symbolism.

Easter embodies many pre-Christian traditions. The name is a derivation of Oestre, the Anglo-Saxon name of a Teutonic goddess of spring and fertility, to whom was dedicated a month corresponding to April. Her festival was celebrated on the day of the vernal equinox.

Traditions associated with the festival survive in the Easter rabbit (a symbol of fertility) and in coloured easter eggs (originally painted with bright colours to represent the sunlight of spring).

Christianity did not destroy paganism ... it adopted pagan traditions & symbolism.

HAPPY BUNNY DAY !!!

Take a moment to remember those bunnies less fortunate ... particularly Mr Chunky Buns here ...

Here's to a fruitful harvest!

Yours with bunnyfeets,
Richard

SLANDER! Easter Bunny Shocker !!!

2006-04-14T21:00:00.000+01:00

BIG GAY OUT ... with bunnies!

2006-04-04T03:24:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta USA - 03 March 2006]

Today was a beautiful day ... peek-a-boo sun with a mild breeze ... about 17 or 18c ... fabulous!

I was out & about round Ansley Mall ... popped into the Gay 'Bucks (Starbucks) for a mocha mint frappuccino, as you do.

After a prolonged wait, I had a fab haircut! Yes, I shaved the sides but kept quite a bit on the top.

I deposited my wee paycheque ... a pitiful $150.00, due to my week off.

CVS gave me three tablets of Atenolol till I can get a new prescription. Still not sure what I'm gonna do. I guess I'll go to GRADY ('orrible public hospital) tomorrow. Phooey.

Got some more Pre de Provence 100% vegetable soap ... one eucalyptus and one peppermint. Why do the French insist on making fabulous 100% vegetarian soap but are infamous for being one of the most vegetarian-unfriendly countries on Earth? One can wash ethically ... just not eat!

I had dinner alone at the cafeteria ... cabbage, mac-n-cheese and a salad ... it suits a bunny!

After that, I wondered round and perused the Easter bollocks that are all about the shops. 'Tis a great time to invest in bunny tat, of course!

I wandered into the pet shop ... which I sometimes avoid, as those shops can be depressing ... but I discovered some very happy baby bunnies ! They were so curious and responsive ... only three weeks old but seemed so clever & worldly wise to us human lot!

Leaving the bunnies behind, I carried on to the market. Sadly, I can no longer find crumpets but I put in a special order! I did get a few bits & bobs ... the usual ... lettuce, more greens, 12-grain bread, fakin' steak, Wet Ones ... I even got a bar of 62% cacao Scharffen Berger chocolate! Yummers.

I did not find a new bunny plushie today, as I'd hoped. I must have looked at three dozen in the various shops but could not find the perfect bunny to suit me ... it's gotta be cute & huggable but not tatty or tacky. I'll find me a new bunny yet!

:-)

Richard the Big Bunny

MARCH HARE: Not much news ...

2006-03-30T18:49:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - 30 March 2006]

Almost nothing has happened this month. There's really very little to tell.

I've put in quite a bit of time at The Fox (rock shows & such) and made decent tips ... been out to the diner after work a few times with Stacy & Laura ... had a few dates with Jim ... spent far too much time on OUT in the UK and Thingbox ... that's about it!

My 'custom' Happy Bunny t-shirt arrived yesterday ...

Ain't it fab ?!?

I think my mum would blush ...

Luckily, I already have a handbag that matches it.

Just kidding! Actually, this is a 1980s London gossip newsprint clutch that holds my permanent markers.

Home life is okay, I suppose. Living here with Martin & his cat has gone well enough but it really does cost about 30% more than I can afford. I don't know how I'll save up money to apply for my UK visa (appx. £300.00!) at this rate. Still, it is comfortable & convenient ...

Maybe April will bring more excitement to my life.

Hopefully, a bit of UK visa news is just around the corner!

Bored in the colonies,
Richard the Big Bunny

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (with bunnies!)

2006-03-04T17:29:00.000Z

[This is undeniably brilliant !!!]

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN IN 30 SECONDS (Re-Enacted by Bunnies!)

SPOILER ALERT: This will reveal the entire plot ... at rabbit speed!

Click on either 'toon below:

Hurrah!

x/RICHARD

Cut it all off! Let it all out!

2006-02-24T23:57:00.000Z

[ATLANTA - Friday, 24 February 2006]

While jamming along to my favourite music today, I spent hours decorating the bulletin board that Jim bought for me.

I guess it's a manifestation of what goes on in my head ... a head that has far less hair after yesterday's shearing.

Hurrah!

Richard the Big Bunny

THE MUMMY RETURNS

2006-02-17T17:23:00.000Z

[Atlanta - A Freaky Friday in February 2006]

My mum, sister, niece and I went out for lunch today.

They were here to drop off some things I'd left with them before I moved to England in 2003 (my electric kettle, toaster oven and humidifier) ... might as well use them while I'm here!

We had a meal round Agnes & Muriel's and then coffee at Caribou.

While we were there, my sister snapped this nice photo of my mother & me ...

I thought the photo came out rather well ... and no Photoshop adjustments!

We sat outside but it was colder than it looks ...

'Twas a nice visit.

x/RICHARD

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !!!

2006-02-14T17:01:00.000Z

LODGING NEWS!

2006-01-11T19:48:00.000Z

[Atlanta - 3 PM - Wednesday - Eleven January Twenty-O-Six]

I finally have permanent digs in Atlanta!

<--(Not my actual house!)

Well, permanent till I return to London ...

I live on Piedmont Way near Ansley Mall (how delightfully gay!).

In a bizarre twist of it's-a-small-world-after-all-innit?, I already know my housemate and I have even been in this house before!

Follow along now: My new housemate is Martin ... who I already know through a former acquaintance named 'Johnny Rock' (I am in his old room). I have been to houseparties here before. Johnny is also friends with Rodney, with whom I lived (along with Ashley) in Chambodia.

What more, I am only three houses and around the corner from David's garage, where I stayed after my 'crash landing' back into America. I am also back on my regular bus route to The Fox.

Most shocking, I suppose, is that I'm living with a *CAT*.

[*screams like a little bitch & then sneezes*]

I am back on Zyrtec, which is over $80 per month in America (no NHS here, babe!). It seems to have done the trick though. Luckily, I am getting Zyrtec for only $50 per month and a few free samples here and there. Compare that to the £3.65 (about $7.00) it costs me per month in England!

Anyway, my housemate Martin is über-sweet, helpful and easy-going. He's also gone a lot. Martin is a trolley-dolly for Delta. Hurrah! Can you say 'Buddy Pass to London' ?!?

:-)

I am sure that will more than make up for life with a cat ...

Martin is not a vegetarian but seems to eat more soya than I do! He's spiritual and a Kabalah student (pre-dating the trend, as it were).

His incantations of Hebrew with a Southern accent *do* amuse me ...

[*smile*]

Rent here is higher than I'd aimed for and I had a tough time choosing between this place and a downtown condo on Highland Avenue at Freedom Parkway (sorry, Alex & David!) but life here is undeniably comfortable and familiar.

And that's the news ...

Kol HaKavod!

Yours with bunnyfeets,
Richard of London

YOU BETTER WORK, 2006!

2006-01-02T05:27:00.000Z

[ATLANTA - New Year's Day]

New Year's Eve was rather smashing this year.

Jim popped round early for dinner and a bottle of champagne.

As planned, we spent New Year's Eve at swish & newly renovated WET BAR.

The club is unique in that it has several indoor and outdoor water features (how very Grand Designs, love!).

On our way to the club, we picked up Jim's straight nephew, Justin.

We queued up outside the club for about 45 minutes. Yes, me! And I didn't whinge (much) ... mostly because Justin and I passed the time talking about his time in England.

Once inside, we had a look around and got cocktails.

Midnight crept up on us and we barely had time to refresh our cocktails before the countdown began!

It was murder on the dancefloor so we didn't stick around that area for long. We took a break and retreated to the lounge while waiting for the show ...

RUPAUL!

Ru was up to his usual grade of fierceness--no complaints there! Once I overcame security & 'crowd maintenance' via a long journey round the building, Jim and I were reunited by Ru's second song. We did have a rather good view of the show from our position on the steps.

Continuing with what has become a twisted drunken club tradition, I snapped these 'self-portraits' in the loo:

Outside, Jim bumped into some fellow band directors he knows from competitions and such ... so I was regaled with embarrassing ''one time ... at bandcamp ...''-type stories.

I thought that maybe I, too, would bump into someone from 'back in the day' but, alas, I didn't see anyone from my Atlanta past all night.

Of course, I need not worry about the ghosts of club nights past when I am holding the hand of my future ...

Justin was having no trouble finding affectionate females (an older woman had 'molestered' him on the dancefloor earlier!). Actually, there were a few girls about, gagging for the only straight boy in the building ... never mind the boys!

Below is the poor lamb being pawed by a bevy of admirers ...

We did make sure that he was okay. Justin didn't seem to be terribly concerned about his male admirers so Jim and I continued to enjoy ourselves nearby ... keeping a watchful eye!

Jim & I had a particularly good time when we got home as well. It was certainly a night I won't forget any time soon ...

[Ooo-er, Missus!]

Just look at this photo of my Puddin' that I snapped before dinner:

Am I a lucky bastard or what ?!?

Yours with a hangover,
Richard the Big Bunny

It's Xmas time in the city ...

2005-12-28T21:06:00.000Z

[Atlanta - 28 December 2005]

Wow! It's been a busy month.

I am sure I'll forget something but here's a recap:

My move into Bryan's flat to 'house-sit' went flawlessly. I miss the neatness & order of Michael's apartment but I can walk to work at The Fox from Bryan's. And no rent ...

Work at The Fox has been overwhelming since late November. Along with the Rockettes Xmas hoo-ha and The Nutcracker, we've also had concerts and ballroom events at which I have worked. The concerts netted FABULOUS tips (!) ... and that money is needed as January will really see a slow-down in my workload & income.

I had lunch with Jim & his son James (who just turned 16) twice before Xmas. James is a great kid ... if a bit quiet. I suppose I'd be quiet and cautious, too, if I was meeting my father's boyfriend/partner for the first time. I am just pleased that Jim has invited me into his family life. Jim is a wonderful father and I have encouraged him all along to be the best daddy he can be! Given that we both had rather crap fathers, I support Jim totally in his role as 'daddy' to his three kids.

My Xmas was great. I was off work on Xmas Eve and just sat around doing nothing for a change. Jim was over on Xmas Day in the late afternoon to open presents & swill champagne (he's taken to champagne like a duck to water!). Note: I get champagne at cost from The Fox!

I'd teased him earlier in the day by emailing this image:

Yeah, Jim got lots of presents from me ... but I rather enjoy making him feel loved & giving him thoughtful gifts. Highlights include: a coffee table book from WICKED THE MUSICAL, a lovely button-down shirt, a French & Saunders DVD, a humourous book about Denmark and a copy of my favourite book, NOTES FROM A SMALL ISLAND by Bill Bryson. He also got a few CDs and such ... thrown in for good measure!

Jim got me just what I asked for ... socks! :-) Okay, so I also got a lovely button-down shirt, some fleecy sweatpants and some cufflinks ... all needed! I had asked for practical things. I have two shirts with me here in America that I've been unable to wear, as I left my cufflinks in London.

Whatmore, Jim had resheduled our cruise as an Xmas surprise ... but it seems it might be postponed again! The delay would be my fault this time.

Jim has been a real sweetie lately. More important than the gifts, he has been giving me so much of his time since he returned from Chicago. I just love him, I do!

My mum even came for a visit on the 26th. She was in town with my sister & brother-in-law (who I'm only just now meeting!), along with my neice Taylor and her half-sister Jessica. Mum & I had brunch down The Flying Biscuit and coffee at Caribou across the street. Once back at mine, we nattered on a couple hours while she enjoyed her ciggies on the balcony. Chest cold aside, she was in remarkably good form. I can't recall when we've last had such pleasant, positive conversation. [Note: I get 'the whingeing gene' from my mother yet this entire day was nearly complaint-free.]

One final bit of Xmas cheer arrived a bit late ... a lovely handmade Xmas card from my best mate Androo in London. The card features a red reindeer sewn onto a green patch on the front. Such texture & design ... how delightfully fabulous! Androo is the best, he is ... he even included some Jesus fodder that came through his letterbox! He knows how to make me laugh, he does.

Now I am looking for a new place to live (see the advert here). Bryan is back from his world tour on the 7th and this house-sitting gig is up!

Wish me luck.

Richard the Big Bunny

My family ...

2005-12-02T06:48:00.000Z

[Earth - After Midnight - Thursday]

My family has returned from the Caribbean!

I rather liked this photo of mum and my brother David ...

She's a dancehall queen, she is!

:-)

'Cha bedda come-down-wid-it, Mummy ...

Some of you are surely in shock, as I so rarely speak of my family ... much less show photos!

They were all in the Caribbean except me. This entire trip was planned whilst I was still in London.

Peace, love & irie !!!

Richard

Weekend of work. Monday of mischief.

2005-11-29T08:03:00.000Z

[Atlanta - 3 AM]

Updates to this blog seem to be coming less & less frequently this month. My apologies! I think it's my aversion to dial-up & the evil AOL (back to Bryan's & DSL soon!) ...

My shifts at The Fox have been insane! I worked four shows on Friday, four shows on Saturday and three shows on Sunday. Damn those Rockettes! Up at dawn ... home at midnight ... kids & Xmas themes ... increasingly bitchy & exhausted co-workers ... not to mention the tips were rather shite, too.

Needless to say, I slept late today (Monday) and focused on nothing but my time with Jim.

Here's a snapshot taken just after he arrived:

Jim & I got a great deal done in three-&-a-half hours ...

We went to Ansley Mall (the 'gay shopping centre' here) for practical reasons. After spending $15 on deluxe non-cow-gut soap, we had a quick dinner at Moe's (again!), nipped into CVS to get my heart medication and then to Starbucks for a coffee & a Xmas CD for Androo (by request ... it contains a rare Pet Shop Boys track).

We stopped by Walgreen's on the way home in persuit of a goatee/beard trimmer for me ... not to mention some festive antlers (about as Xmas as I'm gonna get) ... think Bette Midler donning reindeer horns as she suffers through an insufferable Xmas singalong in the The Stepford Wives: "Maybe I could use hundreds of pine cones to spell out the words B-I-G J-E-W on the front lawn!"

:-)

Our evening ended with the delightful-but-unmentionable ... I'm still all-smiles. 'Twas particularly good ... 'tis the season!

[*blush*]

Back to work tomorrow for six days straight ... two, three or four shows a day ...

Am I the only one who thinks the nativity scene could be livened up a bit ... maybe Jesus could pop out with jazz-hands?

Bah-humbug!

Richard the Big Bunny (with reindeer antlers)

Overdue update ...

2005-11-11T07:19:00.000Z

[Atlanta - 11.11.05]

No update to this blog in ages so I thought I'd do a quick recap of what you've missed ...

Before I left Bryan's, I passed my 'assessment' with Wachovia, which makes me *employable* ... if not employed (yet).

I have moved into a lovely condo on Ralph McGill Boulevard for the month of November. I live with a nice guy named Michael who isn't home much. I moved my bed from David's garage and now I have to sort out what to do with it next month when I housesit at Bryan's! No clue what I'm doing for January lodging yet.

Jim seems to be questioning our relationship suddenly. He seems to fear that I'll leave him for London (which is a valid conern that I understand) but I have to wonder if there is more he's not saying. No matter what, I love that man and I am grateful that he came into my life when he did.

Without the 'bandage' of my relationship with Jim, my life in Atlanta will most likely be immediately exposed as the festering boil that it is ... I have no reservations about saying Jim is my only source of happiness here.

There is nothing on at The Fox so I'm out of work for about 10 days in a row! Needless to say, that's not good ... no tips or paycheque!

I seem to be having several health concerns lately ... not least of which is the sudden appearance of 'floaters' in my left eye. No insurance and little money doesn't bode well for me getting to the doctor anytime soon. America does NOT have a national health service like England.

Today was a particularly shite, lonely day and I miss my friends in London so much right now (Oi'there, Androo !!!).

My return to England might not be imminent but it is definite. I do love Jim enough to delay things ...

Yours in exile,
Richard the Big Bunny

Good news all-round!

2005-10-23T08:50:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - Late Saturday night]

Good news!

I have had two viable offers for November lodging from my advert (see the latest one here).

One is in Grant Park with a fellow Mac Titanium Powerbook user (female) and the other near Piedmont Park with an older poof ...

:-)

We'll see how things go in person.

Also, I made $200.00 in tips in just two nights at The Fox !!!

Don't stop. Get it! Get it!

[*does a wee jig in a mo' money stylee*]

So that's the news ... I'm off to bed ...

Tomorrow is my day off and will be spent on 'quality time' with Jim.

We plan to see WALLACE & GROMIT: Curse Of The Were-Rabbit.

Hurrah!

Richard the Big Bunny

Sorted-esque ...

2005-10-21T08:28:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - Friday morning]

Okay ... so DJ Bryan has saved the day!

I'll be staying with him (as I did when I first arrived back in Atlanta in July) on the lovely hide-a-bed sofa at his condo on Renaissance Parkway ... but only until the end of October.

Wait ... there's more good news ...

I'll also be 'condo-sitting' for him for the entire month of December when he goes on his world tour (see his website).

HURRAH!

So that leaves the obvious problem of what to do for the month of November ...

I have placed a flash & festive advert on craigslist.com ... click here to view it.

I welcome suggestions of where I might stay for November. Cheap hotel? Boarding house? Hostel? Any hidden Atlanta gems out there? Know anyone who could put me up (I can pay rent!) for November?

Let me know!

Email me by clicking on the photo below ...

Thanks.

Richard the Big Bunny

So this is goodbye ...

2005-10-20T07:59:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - The wee hours of Thursday the 20th]

Kanechiwa, Bitches!

So today's the day ...

I am moving out of David's garage.

To where? I dunno! I've no idea ... no, really ... I've not even asked anyone yet ...

Suffice to say I might be out of touch and more difficult to reach.

Keep checking this blog for an update if you don't hear from me.

2005 continues to be the most challenging year of my life ... and I know nothing will be right in my life until I return to London.

You know it, too ...

Richard the Big Bunny

EVICTED! Big Brother has spoken ...

2005-10-14T19:00:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - Friday, 14 October 2005]

Here's a newsflash for you:

David wants me out of the garage by the 20th (though he originally said he was thinking the 15th!).

Mind you, I was only told this news myself on late Wednesday evening (the 11th).

October 20th is now only six days away !!!

To be honest, it's well past time for me to go from here. I have been living in a garage for about 90 days and I truly do not want to be here any longer ... but I've not found a better solution or earned enough money to get a place on my own yet.

I have nothing else to add ... not sure what I'll do. There is certainly no obvious solution. No cards in my back pocket to play.

Financially, my ends are not at all meeting yet ... I am behind on my British credit card payment and barely up on the US one. And I certainly have nothing saved up (for a rainy day or a move back to London).

I've continued looking for a proper full-time job (including live-in positions) but nothing has come of it.

Work at The Fox has been going well. I don't mind it but the end-of-the-shift prep & clean-up work certainly leaves me knackered. Tonight and Saturday are concerts ... so the bars don't close at all ... which should mean massive tips for me & my co-workers (tips are split equally amongst the bartenders).

No work until NEXT Friday & Saturday after that ... but at least those are concerts with open bars, too. Gives me time to move, eh? But to where ?!?

[*grin/grimace*]

The only bright spot in my life is Jim. I am so grateful that he's around. I am not sure what state I'd be in without him and that glimmer of hope & happiness that he's brought to my otherwise miserable life.

Richard

SIX FLAGS WITH MY PUDDIN' !!!

2005-10-02T05:15:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - Saturday - Midnight]

Jim took me to Six Flags today. He always has season passes ...

The last time I was there was literally half a lifetime ago -- age 16!

We had a wicked time!

As a leisurely day out, we did not try to 'do it all' but rather enjoy the day and take it as it comes.

Our first stop could have been our last. I did NOT care for this ACROPHOBIA thing at all. It's not the height or the sudden drop, it's the tilted-forward seat that than tilts even MORE forward once it is up 161 feet in the air. I found it uncomfortable and worrying more than 'thrilling'. Jim says I cried like a girl (which I did not, thank you).

Melting in the sun while recovering:

Continuing on that theme, I also worried (and whinged!) a bit (a lot!) about the SUPERMAN ULTIMATE FLIGHT while we queued up for it. This ride also positions its passengers downwards, hanging forward out of the seats, 'flying' like Superman. As it turned out, I *really* liked it and thought that it ended far too soon!

Having survived that, we posed for what has become my favourite photo of us:

Notice my weight-loss and the glow of love & happiness in my face ...

:-)

I found myself entertained by some of the locals, too:

Jim was amused by this woman's questionable positioning of her ample equine winning. Practical if, perhaps, a bit unsettling ...

One of the biggest surprises of the day was at the FRIGHT FEST musical show. Jim dragged me in for a rest and a cool-down and I was SHOCKED (indeed!) when the third song & dance number was my dear Army of Lovers' WALKING WITH A ZOMBIE !!!

This was then mixed directly into PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (a techno remix) ...

Camp as tits but kept me smiling for an hour afterwards ... I'll just ignore how it all went a bit 'MEATLOAF: THE MUSICAL' towards the end.

At least all of the performers could sing well ...

Here's a list of the rides at Six Flags Over Georgia. According to Jim, we rode Acrophobia, the Dahlonega Mine Train, Ninja, Scream Machine, Superman, Batman and the Mind Bender.

The SCREAM MACHINE is still a thrilling classic. It doesn't even go upside down but something is very exciting about it. Perhaps it's because of the length of the ride and the well-arranged peaks & valleys. Or perhaps it is that this huge structure is all wood and could snap at any moment and kill us all!

[*fit of naughty bunny giggles*]

On our way out, I saw this:

I am not really sure what that's about!

[*larf*]

But it was a grand day out ... I had a blast.

An entire day of thrills & spills with my Puddin' !!!

Look at him:

Handsome bugger. Words fail me. Jim is certainly the epitome of my type.

He's darn sweet, too ... and clever ... and talented ... just a great big ball of love & laughs.

I do love him so very much.

Richard the Big Bunny

I HAVE A JOB !!!

2005-09-21T06:47:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA]

I am now employed by The Fox Theatre.

HURRAH!

More details soon.

Richard

MY JIM WOT LOVES ME ...

2005-09-18T09:31:00.000+01:00

So very kind, handsome, clever & sweet ... dare I question if I deserve him?

Love like this comes along but once in a lifetime.

Richard

[Both photos from yesterday, 17 September 2005.]

I'm old. YAAAY ME !!!

2005-09-14T07:33:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - Tuesday night around midnight]

Tuesday was my 32nd birthday.

I managed to pull together a few friends for a meal at PIE BAR.

Pie Bar is a new hot-spot eatery in Atlanta that has taken up residence in a rather odd-looking Henri Jova building (formerly a Trust Company Bank) and transformed it into something a bit fabulous.

Very swish. Very now. Very gay. Very me!

[Clockwise above: Kathie, Natalie, Rodney, DJ Bryan, me, my Jim, Gerry and Stephen.]

A brief introduction to this motley crew of friends: Kathie is my former boss from the Mart; Natalie is a former co-worker from the Mart; Rodney is my former housemate; Bryan is a client of Hasi Music; Jim is the guy I'm dating; Gerry is a friend from the old Wednesday Dinner Group; and Stephen & I used to 'do brunch & gossip'!

For the record, I had an excellent time and the food was fantastic. I even got a free birthday dessert!

A big thank you to my Atlanta friends who made it to dinner and to Jim for brightening up my miserable life immeasurably in a very short time.

My life is not fun right now but I do relish & appreciate these bursts of sunshine.

When I got home there was a gift and a card from my landlord David waiting for me on my bed, which left me additionally chuffed.

:-)

Richard the Big Bunny

==

PS - My birthday is shared with the late, great Nell Carter. Nell was not only a great singer & comedic actress but also a bit of a surrogate TV mum to me during many of my years as a latch key kid. I cried like a baby when she died in early 2003. She is sorely missed.

==

BADLY SHORN RABBIT NAMES NAMES !!!

2005-09-01T22:49:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - 1700]

How feckin' difficult can it be to cut a crew cut?

Some of the worst haircuts I've ever had have been crew cuts!

Today was no exception.

I went to Beau Seckinger, owner and apparent weed-wacker at APPEARANCES SALON (beside Agnes & Muriel's ... I should have seen that as an omen!) ... and yes, I'm naming names because I'm pissed off that I paid $23 for *this* ...

What's wrong with it? Well ...

The edging & trimming around my ears was NON-EXISTENT. It just wasn't done. I had to trim off all the long hair around & behind my ears myself with the trimmer bit on my electric razor.

My neck was not really trimmed at all. I can't do that myself ...

There are/were long hairs throughout the top & sides. I've cut out as many as I can see by myself.

No identifiable blending of the shorter sides into the top at all.

Never mind that I said this EXPLICITLY ... twice:

''I'd like it very short, no guard on the sides or back, short on top but a bit more towards the front.''

What did he do?

Cut it all off. No fringe or fade towards the front. I said it twice. I told him again as he was about to do it ...

Never mind that it's just not even ... it's wonky ... lumpy ... just crap!

I could have done this better at home myself.

I look as if I've been to the Helen Keller Hedge Trimmer School of Beauty !!!

It looks okay ... FROM A DISTANCE ... just don't get too close.

[*sigh*]

He said he'd been in France for the last 24 years ... my guess is he was not cutting hair! Shearing sheep perhaps ... something that requires less attention to detail.

So much for reducing my stress by cutting all my hair off and letting go of the past (a Rastafarian belief I picked up years ago in Jamaica).

[*sucks his teeth & throws shade*]

I assure you that I am NOT feelin' irie ...

Richard the Shorn Bunny

No happy. No joy. No good.

2005-08-26T18:32:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - Friday - 13:30]

I've had a really bad week ...

My mood & state of being have been plummeting since last Saturday.

Saturday was brilliant: I quit my job & felt very invigorated/liberated then went out & shagged a Marine ... for hours ... I needed that!

On Sunday, I forced myself to finish cleaning David's house (which I'd started on the previous Wednesday but he was out of town so no rush).

This week ... Monday through Friday ... I've nothing to tell.

I've been looking for a job but mostly online.

I have felt rather shite all week and have been missing my life back in London more so than usual. No, it wasn't perfect and there are no rose-coloured glasses here but even my bad days there were more tolerable. Why? Because I was in London ... on the edge of making my dreams come true and keeping hope alive came very easy for me there.

And now I'm back in Atlanta ... poor ... miserable ... hating the weather, the bugs, the lack of public transportation ... living in someone's garage (which I'm increasingly feeling guilty about) ... unemployed again ... unmotivated ... feeling overwhelmingly lonely and unhappy.

Who wouldn't be depressed !?!

It's as if I've been plucked out of my life and drop-kicked into the past ... though everyone has already left this party. There's nothing here for me and the friends of yore have disappeared. My 'old friends' are either gone, too busy to see me or just don't care and I've been disappointed in them in a myriad of ways that I shan't put into print in this blog. New friends are hard to come by, too, because they know as well as I do that I'll be 'rolling up out of here' (bless those colourful Atlanta expressions!) as soon as I possibly can! So who can blame them?

Last night, I was so overwhelmed ... CONSUMED by worries about money and debts (in the UK and the USA!), that I was unable to sleep. I have no idea when I actually drifted off but I didn't wake up until noon! David (upstairs) must think the worst of me by now.

I try to wake up each day and give myself a little pep talk to 'get through it all' but it's not working. I know I have to be here for a few months. I know that I need to work to pay bills and save money. Hell, I *want* to work! I'm rather bored, truth be told. But ...

What I really want is to return to the UK and get on with my life. No, I think it would be appropriate to use the word 'need' there. Returning to the UK is what I *need*.

If it wasn't for the internet (thank you, David) and my fabulous Titanium PowerBook G4 (thank you, Stephen & UCL), I probably would have just lost it by now and have been put away! At least I have frequent contact with my mates through emails, chat & even voice now (thank you, Skype!) and can listen to UK radio ... which seems to calm my nerves a bit by helping feel a bit less 'disconnected'.

I am ever so grateful to Androo in London, too, for helping me manage things back home while I'm away. Our friendship is strong, genuine and heartfelt ... but also practical! [*giggles*] He & I have developed quite a circle of international favours & exchanges! The little things mean so much because ...

Nothing here in Atlanta is making me happy or helping to make my life fulfilling. At all. I am not sure how to put it into words but it's starting to border on misery. I know I have food & shelter and I'm grateful for that but I'm not going to pretend I'm happy or fulfilled either. I'm not.

Everything about my current 'life' is wrong. It's just wrong. Perhaps it's not eloquent but I can't really think of a better word.

My birthday is just a fortnight away. 32 years old ... and ageing doesn't bother me in the least but I am dreading it somehow ... because I'll be alone and, well, I think I'll be a bit overwhelmed by the sadness & isolation.

Oh, that sounds very unlike me indeed!

Richard

I CAN DO BETTER ...

2005-08-20T17:07:00.000+01:00

[Atlanta - 12 noon]

I quit.

Too much skulduggery ... too much stress ... too much labour ... too little money ... by a long-shot!

There was no balance to be found there for me.

I can do better ... and quickly ... so don't worry. I'll have a new job within a few days.

The restaurant industry is a dirty business (in so many respects) and it's just not for me. As a place to work, I don't think Agnes & Muriel's is any worse than any other restaurant. I do, however, think that A&M's gay-drama-bitch-factor is a bit above average.

Oddly enough, I didn't mind waiting tables or dealing with the public ... it was everything else about that job that I hated. I rather liked working the dessert & drink counter. Even running food (by far the most laborious option) wasn't awful.

My leaving really is about the lack of money, the stress and my not 'fitting in' with the staff ...

How politely phrased!

I'm going back to the Music Industry ... at least that's a dog-eat-dog stress bubble I can handle!

We all have our strengths & weaknesses.

Richard the Big Bunny

REFUGE OF THE ROADS.

2005-08-17T06:10:00.000+01:00

I am on a lonely road and I am travelling ...

Looking for something ... what can it be?

Would you like MAC-&-CHEESE FRITTERS with that !?!

2005-08-06T23:34:00.000+01:00

[1830-ish, Atlanta Time]

Today was my first day of work at my new job.

You will never guess WHAT my new job is ... as it's something I swore I'd never do ...

My new employer is !!!

SHOCK-HORROR!

Yes, I'm a server ... well, among other things. One plays a role each shift and 'server' is only one of the options. I will also sometimes be manning the drink/dessert bar and on some days will be a 'runner' (run up & down the stairs delivering food to tables). The latter is what I did today.

'Twas fun but left me quite KNACKERED!

Ooo, just look at the state of me. Tired and grumpy ... and, yes, I am losing weight ... not that eating at Agnes & Muriel's will help that cause any!

Still, it's a great place to work and is one of the gayest, most camp places in Atlanta ...

HURRAH!

Yes, I *do* wear a big pink t-shirt (or a powder blue one) with the Agnes & Muriel's name on the front and their huge '2-mums' logo on the back. I can wear shorts, jeans, trousers, whatever I like really ... very comfy casual. Better photos of the 'uniform' soon.

Read all about the overt poofiness and home-cookin' on the Agnes & Muriel's website.

It's retro-kitsch-camp fabulousness beyond words but the photography on the website doesn't capture it to its full effect at all.

I'll do my own photoshoot there soon!

Richard the Big Bunny

Sometimes ya just got 2 b shagged out ...

2005-07-30T19:25:00.000+01:00

File this under Ain't That America ...

I found this at my local Publix Supermarket.

Ooo ... and look at her at the bottom ... she does look like she's been shagged rotten, eh?

[*larf*]

Manipulate & control indeed!

Wait ... there's more ....

That I-just-rolled-out-of-bed look?

I bet you did, Sister ...

Your hair *will* be ready for action!

Brilliant.

Any shagged style even.

It's even on my receipt ...

GOT 2 B SHAGGED ... for only $4.79!

As we say in the South:

The higher the hair, the closer to God ...

Woo-lawdy-hallelujah-amen-praise-the-lard !!!

Reporting to you live from Atlanta,
Richard the Big Bunny

Remembering the victims of the London bombings ...

2005-07-29T19:34:00.000+01:00

Police have named all 52 known victims of the London bombers. Some families have also released statements, paying tribute to loved ones lost in the attacks.

Here is the list:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4668245.stm

I have been reading it and just sobbing to myself.

Please take a moment to remember those who have lost their lives in the recent wave of terrorism in London.

Thanks.

Richard

Cowboys & Kisses ...

2005-07-24T20:19:00.000+01:00

[Sunday - Atlanta]

Determined to go out last night, I finally persuaded my mate Jamie to pick me up and give it a whirl.

We first dropped by fast-food giant Krystal so that Jamie could grab a quick bite to eat. Suffice to say, Krystal is NOT vegetarian-friendly.

Then we went by one of the newer clubs in Atlanta, WET BAR, but nothing was going on there but the rent. It was all very 'Crickets Sing For Anamaria' ... but just the crickets, mind you ... nobody else came!

[*gasp*]

I went on to BLAKE'S (my old favourite Atlanta haunt) and left Jamie behind at WET BAR for the time being.

I eventually got a fab seat downstairs and watched the drag show on offer.

While enjoying the gyrations of the hefty men in dresses "working it" as they do, I met a lovely guy named Jason (shaved head, friendly and manly ... well, until that last shot ... then it was all booty-shakin' with the drag queens!).

After the show, I worked my way upstairs and bumped into my old mate [former best friend?] Kurt. His birthday is Tuesday and he was out celebrating with some mates from work. We chatted and did a wee bit of catching up ...

Jamie reappeared and asked if I'd like to accompany him and his friend to HOEDOWNS (the local gay country & western bar). I agreed but said I had to nip to the loo first.

While I was waiting in the queue, the lovely Jason reappeared and said he'd been looking for me. He gave me his business card and a kiss.

[*blush*]

It is very nice to be pursued ... especially by a handsome guy one already fancies!

But I was off to "the Hoedowns" with Jamie ... and it's so NOT my scene ... yet it never fails to amuse me (if that's the right word!). Two-stepping and hillbilly shenanigans do make me chuckle as long as I'm safely observing from a distance.

[*giggles*]

Nature called yet again and I made my way to the toilet. I bumped into someone wearing a HUSTLER t-shirt, similar to the one I'd bought for myself in London to wear to Siobhan's last gig. Much to my surprise, said 'Hustler' coerced me into dancing with him around the loo [!]. The two-step is not a world away from waltzing but the toilet, it seems, was no place for it.

There was no chance of me dancing in public view on the dance floor in a hee-haw stylee so the guy somehow convinced Jamie to dance with him.

As the spirit of Tammy Wynette overtook the room, Jamie quickly caught on.

I was happy just to watch, thank you.

Richard the Big Bunny

Yes, yes ... I'm still here!

2005-07-23T02:57:00.000+01:00

[ATLANTA - 2200 - Outwrite Bookstore & Coffeehouse (free wireless broadband!)]

I rarely have access to the internet these days ...

But here I am!

I survived the temp job at The Mart during MARKET WEEK.

Up at 0400 or before each day ... with some days being 12+ hours!

Well, it will be nice when I get paid.

I took a few photos from the roof and the 22nd floor of the Merchandise Mart (largest of the three towers ... see also the Apparel Mart & the Gift Mart). Keep in mind these photos only display part of downtown. I did not get a shot looking North. Atlanta is so large & spread out that Midtown and Buckhead have their own unique skyline anyway.

See the pics below.

In job news: I have submitted applications to five nearby shops and a supermarket! Nothing to scream about ...

It's hot here. The public transportation system is useless. But at least people are friendly!

I did finally get a mobile phone ...

HURRAH!

That's the news, I guess.

More soon.

I certainly miss London. I try to make the most of my time here ... but I always end up plotting and planning my exit & return to the UK.

[*larf*]

Richard in Atlanta

Bunny paws in action ...

2005-07-12T19:57:00.000+01:00

[Tuesday afternoon - ATLANTA TIME]

I am cleaning ... like you would not believe!

I have my own bathroom in the basement/garage/art studio here at David's ... but it has been VERY neglected. David has not lived here for long and the previous tenant really let this bathroom go.

You wouldn't believe how much work I've done!

:-)

Ceiling to floor ... citrus cleaner, bleach, polish ... scrub brush, towels, rags ... hoovering spider webs ... mopping & scrubbing the floor ... and lots of bunny paws in action ...

I am literally doing this all day ... about 8 hours ... just the loo !!!

Also, I have a temp job starting on Thursday. It is *NOT* the high-paying job I mentioned in a previous post but it is running a lift during Market Week at The Mart all the same. This job, however, is for the catering department and only pays about $9.00 per hour, I think. At least I don't have to dress up ...

Hurrah!

Richard

You can't handle The Rodeo Bunny !!!

2005-07-10T06:16:00.000+01:00

[Saturday Night - Atlanta]

Tonight I had a fab date with a *gen-u-wine* Tennessee cowboy ... and ooo-wee-dawgy is he a sexy bugger!

Yes, that's really him ... and I'd venture to say he looks much better in person.

Johnblake is a session musician, keyboardist & songwriter ... so we've got a bit in common. Mind you, I've already told him if he can take my mind off returning to London then he's ranked right up there with Jesus walking on water!

[*giggles*]

However, I will be seeing him again. Bless his cotton socks, I think he likes me, too!

Yours in a boot-scootin' boogie or summink,
Richard

So Friday night I'm sleeping at ...

2005-07-09T05:01:00.000+01:00

[Midnight - ATLANTA]

Well, at least for Friday night, I am sleeping in the spare room at David's house.

He's an author, real estate agent & artist.

Damn sexy, too.

:-)

We dated back before I moved to England.

In other news, I am likely to be working a short-term job during Market Week at the Mart downtown.

http://www.americasmart.com/

I get to run the lift in a tuxedo and be charming & entertaining.

It pays $25 per hour!

That's rather good for hosting/entertainment work.

I should know for sure by Monday.

Richard

NEWS: The good, the bad, the ugly ...

2005-07-08T18:00:00.000+01:00

[1 PM, ATLANTA TIME]

All of my mates in London are alive, safe and accounted for ... hurrah!

:-)

In Atlanta news, there is nothing good to tell.

I've not found a job yet and, even worse, I have no place to stay/sleep tonight onward. I have tried!

Phooey.

I'll survive ... I just don't know how yet ...

Richard the Big Bunny

LONDON TERROR.

2005-07-07T15:43:00.000+01:00

News of the bombs in London only reached me at about 14:00 (09:00, Atlanta time).

My entire body went cold.

Though I am grateful to be safe in Atlanta, I am very concerned about my friends in London.

Several of them could have been on those trains and I have not been able to reach a few of them.

I feel very disconnected & helpless and wish I was back in London.

Richard

Miss American Pie has gone off ...

2005-07-05T22:05:00.000+01:00

[5 PM-ish, Atlanta time]

Overdue update, I know!

From London to NYC to Philadelphia to NYC again to Atlanta ... now what?

America: There's just no pretending that I'm happy or want to be here.

Been in Atlanta 52 hours now ... and it's bleedin' hot, it is!

:-)

It's over 35c and as humid as humid can possibly get.

I am at the local gay bookstore/café ... it has wireless internet ... free.

http://www.outwritebooks.com/

HURRAH!

[*does a little dance*]

Spent my first night here with my old mate Christopher [''Hedgie''] and his partner Cliff in their new house in East Atlanta. Very swish, oversized and has a brilliant shower or two ...

[*giggles*]

They also took me to a Fourth of July BBQ hosted by some of Cliff's friends. There were fireworks after the baseball game nearby. 'We' won, apparently. A big gay time was had by all.

I am now staying with my mate/client DJ Bryan Craft in Midtown till Friday afternoon. After that, I don't know where I'll be staying.

No job news yet. Wherever I end up working, it must be very well air-conditioned!

The struggle continues ...

Richard

New York State of Mind? Philadelphia Freedom?

2005-06-30T18:08:00.000+01:00

[1 PM - Philadelphia Time]

No time to say much but here goes ...

I flew to New York City on AIR INDIA, which was quite nice really. No complaints.

Took the A-train from JFK to the other end of the city ... 42nd Street in Manhattan!

From there I got a bus to Philadelphia. I am staying with my friend Moira and her family for a few days.

Then I'll either fly, train or bus to Atlanta.

I have no mobile and no internet access ... PAINFUL !!!

Nothing much else to tell. Americans scare me. This just ain't my kind of place, Love! I miss London.

More soon!

I'll be online whenever I can. America doesn't seem to have many internet cafes.

Did I mention I miss London?

Bunny loves!

Richard of London

Boys, boys, boys ... & Boy George.

2005-06-19T04:03:00.001+01:00

[Late Saturday Night]

Right ... what a day!

In brief:

Managed to NOT die of a heat stroke.

Rendezvoused with Johnathon & 'Andrew64' for a drink at THE YARD. Andrew did not fancy me in person (as he did online) but I met a lovely 22-year-old Italian lad named Albert after they left who did!

Dashed off to dance to the tunes spun by Boy George.

Managed to find Kristine from NY & her mates and we danced the night away.

Met Boy George upstairs afterwards, shook his hand and then looked to his right and said "Oi ... you were in Taboo!" Luke Evans was sat right beside him. Both were friendly & sociable. Luke -- very sociable.

Ran into an 'old flame' (using the term very loosely) David Mungall at King's Cross. We chatted for 20 minutes before he walked me to my bus stop and smooched & hugged me for a bit. I feel a fool for admitting it but it made my night! He still does it for me, the sexy Scottish bastard! I'll probably never see him again.

And that's the news ...

The sun's coming up and I gotta go to bed!

Richard the Big Bunny

SAINT ETIENNE: Live at Koko (my review)

2005-06-17T17:55:00.000+01:00

Last night's Saint Etienne show at Koko was smashing ... but I didn't take any photos!

Well, just this one of Johnathon & Paul being silly after the show ...

[NOTE: No one in Saint Etienne is actually gay (to my knowledge), nor is Koko a gay venue. However ... given the power of poofetry ... Johnathon & Paul can make any locale decadently woofterish! - Accuracy Ed.]

Annie, electro Norwegian pop saviour, opened the show. Annie's voice sounded great & the music even better ... but she's not really a dynamic performer (not that I'm demanding she wear a thong & thigh-high boots whilst bouncing around!). I'm just not all that interested in her. If you believe the critics, I must be missing something.

Saint Etienne were fab. Deeply fab!

They are touring to promote the release of their latest album, TALES FROM TURNPIKE HOUSE (which includes a bonus 6-track EP entitled UP THE WOODEN HILLS aimed at the children of their fans).

Sarah's voice sounded better than ever and she looked bright & sparkly and was triumphantly thin for a mother of two.

Debsey, backing vocalist extraordinaire, was in fine form as well. Very strong, very loud and gloriously in tune ...

There were some odd choices of songs that I don't think worked very well live. Everyone seemed to be talking & going for drinks during TEENAGE WINTER & GARY STEAD. There were a couple of songs I didn't even recognise ... SPLIT SCREEN (I remember the title from GOOD HUMOR) and DON'T BACK DOWN (from SOUND OF WATER but I have no recollection of it whatsoever). And HEART FAILED is still a stinker of a tune in my opinion ...

St. Et. also did not perform their biggest hit HE'S ON THE PHONE ... and that did not sit well with anyone in my general vacinity. It was the criticism I heard over & over again while working my way out of the venue.

KOKO is a strikingly lovely venue but the sound was a bit muffled. I thought LIKE A MOTORWAY in particular sounded completely foggy.

And regarding songs off the children's music bonus disc, I still think they should be doing LET'S BUILD A ZOO instead of YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!

:-)

The high points of the night for me were SHOWER SCENE and a slightly raucous version of SYLVIE. But new songs like STARS ABOVE US and A GOOD THING were smashing live!

I thought the show was better than the New Year's Eve 2004/05 gig but not a speck on the Xmas 2003 show!

Well worth the £18.00 though ...

KOKO SETLIST:

Heart Failed
Shower Scene
A Good Thing
Lightning Strikes Twice
Split Screen
Sun In My Morning
Who Do You Think You Are?
Stars Above Us
Don't Back Down
Side Streets
Last Orders For Gary Stead
Action
Teenage Winter
You Can Count On Me
-----------------
Like A Motorway
Sylvie
-----------------
Nothing Can Stop Us

Special 'ello to Sarah from Boston ... the only fan who noticed my AVENUE Mailing List t-shirt & spoke to me!

However, I did bump into quite a few of my mates there.

And I had FAR too much Scrumpy ...

Richard

==

Click here for more on Saint Etienne.

Click here for more on Annie.

Click here for more on the venue Koko.

==

UPDATE: Knowns & Unknowns (!)

2005-06-15T10:07:00.000+01:00

[A chest cold has kept me in bed & housebound since last Friday. I have not left my bedroom much. Yes, really. Timing, eh? Thank goodness for broadband internet to keep me entertained & productive and for the bunnies outside my window, who continue to make me smile whenever I look out.]

WHAT I HAVE SORTED OUT:

(1) I am moving out of Giles' N22 flat on Saturday, 25 June 2005. Hopefully I will be able to rally the troops and find two friends/acquaintances with cars. Big John in Leamington is coming down to help & perhaps I can beg/persuade/barter with Tony to help again! I can't express enough my gratitude in advance to anyone who helps ...

(2) My belongings will be stored at Walthamstow in Johnathon's loft. He is only a recent acquaintance but I am listening to my inner voice on this one. Johnathon is lovely & seems trustworthy and has a HUGE empty loft above his new flat. I will leave explicit instructions & backup plans with him on what to do if my stuff needs to be moved while I'm not here in England (supervised by Androo, I hope, as I trust him completely). I may store one small box of music memorabilia at Androo's in Mill Hill, as the contents are worth several thousand pounds (and that's just the cream of the crop!).

WHAT I HAVE NOT SORTED OUT:

(1) Although I must be out of the UK by Thursday, 30 June 2005, I still have NO idea where I am going. USA? If so, where? I really don't care to return to the USA but I haven't really found a place to crash[land!] in Ireland or Sweden. I have about 7 days to decide where to go & purchase a ticket. Crikey. Creative ideas & job/lodging offers are certainly welcome !!!

(2) I have no idea how I will pay for an airline ticket, especially if it's all the way across the ocean to the States! The mind boggles ...

(3) My last few days of lodging here in the UK will be spent with a friend, I hope. I haven't asked anyone yet (Androo will be away in Greece). I have two friends who have spare rooms who might be able to put me up for those last two or three days. Hopefully that is not much of a bother or burden.

(4) I am not sure what to do about my post. I must keep some sort of UK address. I am sort of at a loss there. Any offers?

(5) I have no idea what I will do for work or lodging whenever I get to wherever it is I'm going! Did that make any sense? Wherever I land, I'll be penniless & homeless but will need to start work and start saving immediately (!) to come back to the UK. Ain't that a bitch?

My sense of humour is in tact even if my body is falling apart from stress!

A big thanks to all of you out there (in the UK & across the world) for your words of support & encouragement and for helping me think things through & find creative solutions.

Richard

PS - Friday's blog post should be more festive & light. I will see one of my favourite bands, SAINT ETIENNE, at Koko on Thursday night. This is my third time seeing them, which actually puts them even with Boy George. Shocking!

The more I think, the more upset I get ...

2005-06-12T22:16:00.000+01:00

[IMPENDING DOOM COUNTDOWN: 18 Days]

I have been thinking about storing my things and getting out of the UK ... AND I'M SO PANICKED & UPSET.

I really don't want to leave the UK!

I know that's not news but my thinking is this:

If I leave, I can only get my visa renewed in person via an embassy or consulate IN THE USA (after a long postal application process with the college & the Home Office).

Even worse, leaving the UK now will break up my accumulated time here (ie, puts me back at zero in terms of accumulating 5 years for residency).

Leaving now really will change everything ...

Sure, I could marry a boyfriend after 21 December 2005 ... but I don't have one! And even *that* comes with an 'application fee' and a delay for me (as a foreign national) ...

I need to go back to college to stay here! I need £1500 for my tuition & visa application fee and I need it immediately.

Brilliant. I've burst into tears now ...

I'll regret posting this later, I'm sure.

Richard

PS - Never mind that I cannot afford to fly to America ... where am I going to get £600 in a week !?!

And all I had left was my health ...

2005-06-12T14:12:00.000+01:00

My weekend has been spent in bed.

I have a terrible chest cold. It's one of those awful kind that is unbelievable in the AM. Morning details you do NOT want to hear !!!

[*hack*]

I'm coughing up Gremlins.

TWO WEEKS LEFT!

I must begin shifting my things to storage (still undecided) and buy a ticket to *somewhere* ...

Skidding along the razor's edge,
Richard

Thanks but I do not want your money ...

2005-06-08T16:27:00.000+01:00

Perhaps my message from last week was a bit unclear, as I was more or less 'thinking out loud'.

PAY ATTENTION: I was not soliciting everyone for cash and I am certainly not overwhelmed with debt. Many of you seem to have misunderstood.

At the end of the day, there are essentially two problems:

[1] I must leave the UK before the end of the month (for which I might need more money).

[2] My possessions must be safely stored somewhere in or around London before I leave.

Both of these issues are well on their way to being sorted out. Hooray & hurrah ...

My credit cards might be nearly maxed out but that is only about £2500. I only have one UK credit card and one US credit card. My payments are never late or missed and I do not need debt counselling! Crikey ...

I will be more careful with my words next time.

Thank you all for your concern.

And, please, watch the criticism ...

It's not that I can't take it but rather that we all lead very different lives. I don't judge you on your choices and the risks you take living your life. I expect the same. We are each on our own paths.

I assure you, *I* chose this path and it's the right one for me, difficult though it might be.

I might have hit a bump in the road but, believe it or not, I do have some idea what the fuck I am doing ...

It pleases me that at least a few of you 'get it' and understand me. I thank you for your continued support.

Richard

BBQ BUNNY: Poofs, Quorn & Swedish Vodka!

2005-06-06T22:24:00.000+01:00

My good friend Tony (below, right) took me to a BBQ on Saturday. It was a birthday party for his ex-boyfriend Gary (left).

Everyone sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY ...

Unfortunately, I was in the toilet at the time!

I had overindulged on the Swedish vodka ...

Oh dear ... it's not pretty ...

But the chef was!

And he wasn't the only handsome man around ...

The shot below is nice ... but how did I get everyone to look natural but at the camera?

Photographer's secret: I sprang forth from the kitchen & let out a female horror film scream.

As you do ...

[*giggles**]

Well, it worked.

And a good time was had by all ...

And I needed a good time ... thanks for a fab weekend, Tony!

RICHARD

Please ... everyone ... calm down!

2005-06-03T10:41:00.000+01:00

Thank you all so much for all the love & support you've shown me since yesterday's post.

My life is still in a pickle but it seems I am more calm than many of you. Please don't stress yourself into a knot (especially you, mum!).

I have had many viable offers for storing my things. Thank you all so much. My only concern there is that the people I know & trust the most have the least space ... and the people who have the most space I don't know all that well. However, at least I can see a light at the end of that tunnel. I can store my things here in London. Tick that box & move on.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers ... thank you all so much!

The next month will be tough no matter what happens. No work this week means no payday next week.

[*gulp*]

A week with no money in London is a bit like ... well, it doesn't get much worse really (financially) ...

Luckily, I am classically trained at being poor!

Let me remind everyone that even if I leave, I am definitely returning to the UK within 6 months and I am NOT shipping all my things back to the States (I might insure them but they are staying here in England).

So, please ... calm down ... you all are stressing out the Big Buddha Bunny!

[*larf*]

My situation is still dire ... maybe I'm just calm at the moment ... but at least I have my moments!

Richard the Big Bunny

I admit it ... I need help!

2005-06-02T18:18:00.000+01:00

Today has been a day of reflection & contemplation.

The end result is this: I am at the end of my rope & I do not see any solutions.

Unless £1500 ($3000) or so falls into my lap, I must leave the UK immediately.

Despite working and trying to save up money for college (ie, another visa), I have failed.

I do not have any money. It all goes towards rent, paying off my overdraft and making payments toward my two credit cards (proof positive that I was never 'kept' by anyone).

I have just over two weeks to sort out where to store my things for free in England and how I'm going to pay for a flight out of here.

My life is boiling over with problems & pressure--and if I were suicidal, you wouldn't be reading this message because I would already be gone. Yes, it is that bad. Thankfully, I know my problems do not define who I am or my future. They are just problems.

I need help. Or, perhaps more accurately in these circumstances, I need to be rescued.

I am not very good at asking for help and, furthermore, I am not even sure who to ask! This isn't a normal, everyday problem. I don't just need money ... I also need a secure place to store ALL of my possessions (about a square metre of boxes) before I am forced to leave the country that I consider my home.

I am embarrassed. I tried. I really did. I know all of this is my responsibility but I have failed.

And to think all of this could be wiped away if I could just get a job with a work visa ...

FIVE YEARS. I've tried for five years and I've failed. I certainly gave it my all in the end. MY ALL. It's all gone. I'm afraid I don't have any fight left in me.

Richard

WE GOT BUNNIES !!!

2005-05-31T15:52:00.000+01:00

Well, no temp job today, despite effort. I was down at ROC's offices for nearly three hours on 'standby' but to no avail ... so I came back home and I finally went round to the Wood Green Animal Shelter next door.

My bedroom window overlooks their kitty sanctuary & bunny playfield.

This pic only shows about 20% of the kitty sanctuary ... it's quite huge! It has many houses & cabins and loads of poles for climbing. And such a variety of puss!

I couldn't resist any longer ... I had to see the bunnies up close! I went round and got permission to spend 20 minutes with them.

This one kept bouncing back & forth head to toe and making me laugh:

He's a lot more active than he looks!

The most active was the cute brown 'regular type' bunny named BAMBI:

Bambi was my favourite. Very interactive, alert and interested ...

They all have spacious cages on soft, natural grass ... complete with clean water, food and ample shelter from the sun provided by boxes (they are moved to smaller indoor cages in the evening).

I saw that poor fellow get pecked by a BIG bully crow from my window. He was hopping about and playing along through the wire till he got nipped!

This little guy looked more like a hare but was very relaxed:

What you don't see in these photos is the obese white albino rabbit that was free and running loose through the yard. It kept mostly to itself though and preferred to rustle in the corner and play with its newspaper.

The shelter also has a charity shop directly across the street (Lordship Lane). I went in and had a look but will have to go back to give the CDs a really good once-over.

Not a bad day. I may not have a job or a visa but I have a smile ... thanks to the bunnies!

Richard the Big Bunny

Job Blurb / UK Visa ... HELP!

2005-05-31T07:02:00.000+01:00

Clever 31-year-old single man seeks a job in the London area (will consider relocating).

My past experience includes graphic design, technical training and instruction, minority relations (BA, 2:1), computers and networking, desktop support (PC and Macintosh), hotel management, copywriting, music publishing, artist management, corporate PA & admin, being a nanny/tutor (7 years!), event hosting ... even singing and entertaining (yes, really).

When asked about my best attributes, others have described me as responsible, trustworthy, decidedly organised, resilient, educated, well spoken and outgoing. My worst fault is becoming over-invested in my job. I take my work & its success personally.

All offers considered!

For more information on me, please contact me:

M: 07906 619 660

Email: boylondon@gmail.com

Thank you for hearing me.

Richard

LEFT OUTSIDE ALONE.

2005-05-30T22:46:00.000+01:00

Tomorrow is the first day after the bank holiday weekend.

It's also the first workday since my long-term temp job ended and I've no new assignment (ie, no job).

Most importantly, it's the first day of the last month of my [student] visa.

No job.

No money.

Nowhere to go.

No new visa application.

Certainly no one to turn to ...

I do feel very much alone. I have very few friends these days (Androo, Tony, who else?).

I have acquaintances, more than my share of guys who want to shag me and LOADS of what I term 'social distractions' ... but not a long list of people who I believe actually care about me without ulterior motives.

Most of the people I thought were my friends seem to have either methodically extracted themselves from my life or have, discreetly or blatantly, told me that they will be in touch when things are more sorted.

Gee, thanks.

So not only am I having the worst year of my life, I must also face it alone.

I am not entirely unhappy. I'm still in London (though that dream is under attack, obviously). And I still have my inner joy. That is apparently inexstinguishable.

Richard

25 DAYS: My Imminent Doom!

2005-05-24T00:47:00.000+01:00

Right ... thinking aloud here ... let's review ...

If the worst case scenario is that I have to leave the UK, here are the Top Three Problems:

(1) I don't have enough money for a plane ticket (to the States or elsewhere). I am living hand-to-mouth and barely able to pay my rent.

(2) I don't have anywhere to store my things in the UK. All of my worldly possessions are in the UK. Everything I own, including all 2000 of my CDs and my memorabilia collection, is here with me in England. Storing my things in Lindsay's loft is no longer an option because of his garden room addition & remodelling work (ie, a lot of his downstairs furnishings are now in the loft and will be there for quite some time).

(3) I have nothing to go back to/for ... where am I going? Return to Atlanta? Where would I go? Where would I stay? And why? I have no desire to take a huge step backwards.

I have 25 business days to move heaven and Earth to suit me or for a miracle to happen.

Richard

PS - My long-term temp job (as a course advisor at Westminster Kingsway College) ends Friday. Let's hope another one takes its place very quickly, if only for a month!

Siobhan at THE SOCIAL ...

2005-05-17T01:09:00.000+01:00

Had a fab time at the Siobhan show ...

http://www.thesocial.com/

The sound was shite but I didn't mind ... electro ... who can really tell?

8-p

Yes, I took LOADS of photos ... some of which will clean-up well in Photoshop. [Exclusives for the POP LIFE newsletter but I will post a few small ones here in my blog soon!]

Shuv did five songs: Bitter Pill, Pulsatron, summink I didn't know that seemed to lack a melody (I was chatting up someone at the time anyway!), Cold and It's A Trip.

http://www.siobhanfahey.com/

She cut it short because the sound was so bad ... but she looked absolutely fabulous.

I spoke to her before the show. She was lovely. She looked suspiciously young and couldn't be more fit. She's holding up well ... one way or another!

It was all very laid back and I couldn't help but think what an odd world I live in. I grew up a huge fan of Bananarama & Shakespear's Sister and now Siobhan & I have mutual friends. I remained completely calm in the presence of her greatness!

8-)

And yes, per the usual, I forgot to ask her anything important ...

All this *AND* Bananarama (Sara & Keren) have new single and album coming out!

http://www.bananarama.co.uk/

WEEEEE !!!

Now if my mate & I can just corner Jacquie [O'Sullivan] for brunch ...

http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/jacquieosullivan/

[*giggles*]

Richard

Panic on the streets of London ...

2005-05-11T10:22:00.000+01:00

Well, it finally happened:

I burst into tears this morning in public -- right there on the street in Soho walking to work from Piccadilly Circus. Kept on sobbing at work as well & locked myself in the loo for a bit.

I am overwhelmed by worries about my visa expiring and where I will be in 60 days.

[My stressful state is more than a bit compounded by the more immediate misery at home. My new flat in Wood Green has no useable shower and that is generally ruining my day before it starts. Add to that: bad lighting, difficulty shaving, 'bathroom schedule' conflicts ... and my stress level reaches its peak each day before I even leave the flat.]

It's all just a bit more than I can handle.

One of the great ironies is that my job is the best part of my life right now -- and even that is temporary (not to mention illegal).

To be a bit lofty & poetic, life's joys have slowly been chipped away bit by bit over the last two years till there are nearly none left. I put on a brave face that seems to fool most everyone (of those not already driven away by my "complicated life").

I guess I feel under attack and alone in the fight.

Fair statement, I think.

Richard of London ©

Moving to N22 (Zone 3)

2005-05-03T16:50:00.000+01:00

I've decided to take the room in Wood Green.

My rent will be £330 per month.

My new flatmate, Giles, seems like a real sweetie. I guess time will tell!

I will be moving in on Sunday (08 May 2005).

Big thanks to Irish Tony for offering to help schlep my things from Archway to Wood Green in his wee car!

8-)

Richard

FADE TO GREY ... on the move!

2005-04-29T14:35:00.000+01:00

Time shows no mercy!

Perhaps it's just stress ... perhaps it's not permanent ... but, in three months, I've gone from having 8 or 9 grey hairs to having about 60!

I am properly going grey. Even my goatee ...

Sudden Onset Oldmanitis !!!

I'm not really that bothered ... just amazed at how fast it has changed.

I blame the stress. Perhaps my greying hair and ''old eyes'' are just temporary ... this year has been the most difficult of my adult life!

==

In other news, I'll be viewing rooms, flats & possibly bedsits this weekend. There are SO many to see but I've only talked with one person on the phone with whom I've ''clicked''. Unfortunately, he's in Wood Green ... far more north than I was hoping for ... but I'll see it as I really liked the guy (at least on the phone!). He's a 33-year-old teacher and seemed really lovely.

The house appears to be directly on a major road (Lordship Lane ) and is part of the Noel Park area ... is that good or bad?

One random person on OUT said this:

''I know someone that 'used' to live the other wide of Lordship lane to noel park... the walk from the tube at night up Lordship lane isnt nice! There have been stabbings around there, thats why they moved. I`ve walked down there from that friends house at night, and its not nice. Lots of drug culture ...''

[*screams like a little bitch*]

We'll see, I guess ...

COMMUTE: According to the Journey Planner, my bus from Mill Hill to work in Soho is a maximum of 01:32. Wood Green to Soho is about 01:18 ... so not a lot of difference.

But we'll see ...

I'm very eager to get a proper place of my own and move the rest of my things from Stephen's ASAP (as he's moving this weekend anyway).

Richard the Big Bunny

Who should you vote for?

2005-04-19T20:06:00.000+01:00

Here are *my* results!

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Liberal Democrat

Your actual outcome:

Labour -4
Conservative -8
	Liberal Democrat 36
	UK Independence Party 10
	Green 73

You should vote: Green

The Green Party, which is of course strong on environmental issues, takes a strong position on welfare issues, but was firmly against the war in Iraq. Other key concerns are cannabis, where the party takes a liberal line, and foxhunting, which unsurprisingly the Greens are firmly against.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

Channelling Sharon Osbourne as we speak, Sweetie!

2005-04-16T18:14:00.000+01:00

ASDA mums pocket the difference ...

Bite me!

Stephen is moving!

2005-04-15T17:00:00.000+01:00

My ex Stephen and his mate Mikey have decided to share a new flat.

This means I must find a place to store my things before the end of the month!

Not sure what to do really.

I could store my things in Lindsay's loft but that's is very far away (in Berkshire) and I might have my own place soon.

Crap timing all round ...

If it was a month later all would have been fine, most likely. Now I have something else to worry about!

How? Where? Who's helping?

:-)

This also will mean that I have no postal address. I guess I'll fork over the cash for a post office box ... at least for a few months.

Richard the Roving Rabbit